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my brain has been operating at 10% power today but i have been deep in thought about what Star Trek characters' dnd classes would be and here's what i got (taking into account a character's career, skills, hobbies, and general vibe). i also tended to sub science skills in Star Trek for being some sort of magic user because otherwise this would not work.

*disclaimer. i like dnd, i've played dnd but i'm very far from being a dnd expert so please add your opinions if you have them!

TOS:

Kirk: fighter (specifically with a Battle Master archetype). i think there's a tendency for Captains to be paladins given that they're sworn to uphold Federation values and be a sort of holy warrior but Kirk is both a physical fighter and a tactical strategist as well. plus i think fighter is maintaining Kirk's "just some guy who happens to get into wild adventures" energy.

Spock: wizard. yes yes i know it's kinda stereotypical but Spock is such a classic wizard build i don't know what to tell you. i don't know a ton about the schools of magic but i could see Spock in school of transmutation maybe?

McCoy: wizard. honestly? i was stuck on McCoy because he's obviously a healer but sticking to the handbook classes, the only real healer option is cleric but i don't think McCoy could ever kick it with a god long enough to be a cleric (plus then by default every doctor would be a cleric). however i thought about the hilarity of McCoy and Spock as arguing wizards with extremely different philosophies around magic and couldn't get the image out of my head. (he would probably be school of abjuration)

Uhura: BARD. Uhura is such a bard. her job is communications officer and she's a singer? no other option.

Scotty: warlock. the only explanation for being that good of an engineer is that he made a pact with some supernatural eldritch entity.

Sulu: fighter. did you see how happy he was when he got a gun in Shore Leave? have you seen Sulu leap down the halls of the Enterprise with a fencing foil?

Chekov: gonna be honest and say that i only have memory of watching the first season of tos and the movies so i don't actually know Chekov that much but he has rogue vibes.

this is already so long but i'm having fun so i'm gonna go through the other shows later and tag them here: star trek dnd fusion

Hear me out:

* = Who they'll be romancing

Gale (Divination Wizard) - Astarion* (Swords Bard), Shadowheart (Tempest Cleric), Wyll (Battle Master Fighter)

If you've looked at my blog at all, you'll see I already have this campaign going on. I'll never change Gale from being a Wizard. Astarion as a Bard is always a fun time. Tempest Clerics are just a fun time....as are Battle Master Fighters when you want that fun time to be up close and personal. I chose Wyll as my final member for this one because I love his back and forth dialogue with Astarion a lot.

Wyll (Fiend Warlock) - Karlach* (Wildheart Barbarian), Gale (Evocation Wizard), Shadowheart (Light Cleric)

I just started this to test it out. I've made it known I'm not a big fan of the Warlock class. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that custom characters' backstories don't matter, and I'm very much more into the roleplaying aspect than the combat or anything else. So it's especially hard to enjoy playing a Warlock when whatever lovely backstory and patron you've crafted don't mean anything at all. Just after experiencing the scene with Mizora, when you take your first long rest, I love both Warlocks and Wyll so much more. Even with Wyll in my party with my Gale campaign, he doesn't feel nearly as much of a character as Gale, Astarion, and SH do. As for the rest of this party, Gale is self-explanatory. SH as a Light Cleric because I might possibly like the Light Domain a tiny bit more than the Tempest one. Karlach rounds out the party as a Wildheart Barb because that's the only Barb subclass I feel any inkling to try out) and gets that final coveted spot because she will be Wyll's romance. Wyll falling in love with the "monster" he was sent to kill is just too adorable to pass up on. Plus, I really do want to experience Karlach's story at least in one playthrough. It'll be sad having no Astarion around but, while I do ship him and Wyll, for this playthrough at least, the monster hunter will decide to keep the vampire at camp.

Astarion (Beast Master Ranger Lore Bard) - Gale* (Evocation Wizard), Shadowheart (Life Cleric), Lae'zel (Battle Master Fighter)

Disregard my post from earlier today talking about an origin playthrough with Astarion as a Sorcerer and romancing Wyll. lol I have yet to start this one but have no willpower so I'm sure it'll be happening soon.As far as Astarion goes, Bard and Ranger always call to me the most. With Ranger, I've just always imagined him as being very good with a bow and arrow. Don't know why. I thought about Gloom Stalker, but I love animals and love even more the thought of Astarion just inadvertently picking up animal companions (some pre-game; others post-game [I have ideas that don't really matter]). As far as everyone else, as I said, Gale will always be a Wizard. I'm romancing him because I want to experience his romance and love Bloodweave more than enough to want to experience it from both sides of the aisle. SH will be a Life Cleric. While having a devoted healer isn't really necessary, with Astarion's beast companion and familiar, there will be more things to want to keep alive should the need arise. She'll still be able to do as much damage as I need her to. I just want to change things up with her, as she'll be in all of the campaigns (along with Gale, but Wizard is my favorite class and has sooooooooo many spells that it always feels different, even if he'll be Evocation in two of them). Rounding out the party will be Lae'zel. Battle Master is the only Fighter subclass I care about. I'm still not fully onboard with her as a character, so I'm hoping having her around and experiencing her story in full will change that.

My Gale campaign will still be my primary focus because he is my favorite character. I'll be sure to make sure he gets the majority of the days I can play any given week. The other two will all depend on what kind of mood I'm in.

i think you've talked about this before, so i apologize if you're repeating yourself, but i've only ever played dnd once, so while i've picked up a lot of knowledge from just watching CR, i'm having a bit of trouble fully wrapping my head around why laudna's multiclass is mechanically bad. (storywise i get; combat not so much.) i know it takes longer for her to get access to higher-level spells, and i know that part of the problem is that a lot of the spells she is taking are more based on self-defense than either support casting or direct offense, but i feel like there's something more strategic i'm missing about sorlock being a weak build.

Sure! As with all mechanical posts there is a degree of personal opinions in here which I'll try to call out when I'm getting really into my own preferences, but sorlock really is generally not that great and I think it's mostly popular because of coffeelock posts.

The biggest one is that warlock, specifically, in 5e has a different spellcasting system than all the other casters. You only get a couple spell slots, all of the same level, and they recharge on a short rest. If you're a warlock multiclass, you add these on to your other spells. This is different from how a full caster multiclass works - if Laudna had been a sorcerer/bard, to give an example, she'd actually have the exact same spell slot configuration as Imogen or FCG - she just wouldn't have access to 5th level spells. She could still upcast lower level spells to 5th level, however. But she's not, so instead she has one lone 4th level spell and a glut of low-level spells. It's not even that she's not picking great spells; I'd have to do a deep dive into her spell list but it's decent (just as fighters only need one sword you really do only need like 2-3 good damage spells; it's just cooler if you have more) and warlocks are built to be fighting with cantrips anyway. It's that she's got a jack of all trades/master of none situation going on in a caster-heavy party with another sorcerer no less, so she's not adding a ton.

Sorcerer is one of the most specialized classes, and, in my opinion, by far the weakest of the casters. You get very few spells compared to other classes (tied with warlock; less than bard, of the known-spell casters, and less than what your average druid, cleric, or wizard can typically prep). Your spells include some arcane utility but you don't have the freedom of choice or versatility of a bard (more spells known and imo a better-curated list for a more defined support role) or a wizard (as many spells as you can find and transcribe). Meanwhile, warlocks also don't get a ton of known spells. However, what warlocks do get is invocations which often grant you cool abilities or even at-will low-level spells. Laudna only has 2. A 10th level warlock would have 5. Basically what I'm getting at here is that all multiclassing is a trade-off, but warlock is a class that's really built to be a warlock and with a handful of exceptions (hexadin) doesn't multiclass super well, imo. A dip into warlock of one level for eldritch blast is pretty good; more than that and you start to not really get a full return on your investment unless you're a really strong subclass.

Which is the other thing: her subclasses are vital to her aesthetic but neither of them is particularly strong as a general multiclass. Either would be fine on its own, but Strength of the Grave is a niche case, Eyes of the Dark is fine but with this party casting Darkness is rarely useful (honestly Darkness is a spell that seems cooler than it is), and hound of ill omen looks cool but is mechanically not terribly impressive. Form of Dread is legitimately good, to be fair. Honestly, I think she should have had a single-level dip in one or the other.

@running2reanimation hey here's the DND AU ficlet ^^

I write. SO many aus but I only ever show the more canon-divergent or canon-adjecent ones, so !! here it is :D

“I didn’t know you were a bard as well.”

“I’m not!” Purple laughed, preening at the compliment, as their fingers carefully pressed against the violin strings. King had been wondering what that large case had held, and was surprised to find an instrument instead of some weapon like he'd guessed, “It’s a hobby, if that. I can’t do much.”

King disagreed. Purple could do quite a bit with it. No spellcasting it appeared, they weren’t lying about that (and what use would a warlock need for bardic magic?), but they had songs. Many songs. Oh, Purple seemed to have an impressive repertoire. They could probably make a pretty penny traveling from tavern to tavern, paying for board with entertainment, and playing for coin in the square. There were songs from all over Faerun, and perhaps even farther. There were some that King knew, and a lot that King didn’t.

“Do you take requests?”

Purple nodded, putting the violin under their chin again. The firelight danced off the chestnut wood, casting brown into gold. Purple looked at King expectantly.

Gold. hm.

“Ah, what of… Summernight Festival.”

“I… don’t know that one. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I wasn’t sure if you would.” King waved it off, “Um, it is–it’s the main song in the… in the midsummer festival in my hometown.”

“Where would that be?”

“Ah, I think you’re forgetting what I am Purple,” He said, as if Purple wasn’t staring his firbolg nature in the eye, “I assure you, you wouldn’t know this one.”

“Try me.”

“In the Nether forests. By the bastions.”

Purple grinned, “Is that where the Piglin Trader festival happens too? I’ve passed through there once or twice during the summer festival.”

“You have?”

“What can I say?” Purple shrugged with one arm, starting to press fingers onto strings, “Outcasts like isolationists.”

The song was bright and cheery, just as King remembered it. He shut his eyes for a second, just listening, letting himself reminisce for a moment—

"Dad, can I try that spell? Please please please—"

King sharply sighed, trying to rid himself of the memory. Purple halted mid-note, in turn, becoming stiller than a statue. Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. He had no idea why he’d asked for it; the last memory of his daughter was one he both deeply cherished and deeply despised, his little sorcerer too strong for her own good.

"Is everything alright, my King?"

"Yes." King leaned forward again, covering his eyes with a hand, "Yes, excuse me. I suppose I got lost in memory."

"Good memories?"

King felt the worn threads of a long-ago made Father's Day present, a bracelet that was barely surviving that King was doing everything in his power to keep from tearing to pieces.

The song was nice, though. The festival was one they went to every year. Kind and soft. A good memory, despite the pain twined with it now.

"Yes. I suppose they were."

"They didn't sound very good."

King sighed. "...Do you have any favorite songs, Purple?"

"Oh, uh…" Purple glanced away, before nodding to themself, "Just one. Do you want me to share it?"

"Do what you will."

Purple nodded, starting to play a relatively simple song compared to all the others they had so far. More of a warmup than an actual song., with a simple beat—for children, likely, and riddled with nostalgia to boot, no doubt. When the song was over, Purple put the violin down and started to pack up.

"What was that song? I think I've heard of it."

"Uh… One Red Rose is the common translation. It's about beauty and thorns and—ah, whatever, it's an elven nursery rhyme." Purple put the case away too, tucking it carefully alongside their pack, "First song I learned on the violin."

"And it's your favorite?"

"Yeah. My amya sang it to me. For a while.” Purple’s tail flicked, the only sign of their discomfort. Amya was the elven word for parent, if King recalled correctly, “And then they taught me how to play it. Never learned how to sing it, though. I sort of remember the lyrics?”

“I see. I believe there is a Sylvan translation for that nursery rhyme. But…” It had been far too long for King to remember it, and they'd be long buried before they sang, “I never knew the translation for it, either.”

“Ha, it’s fine. It’s an old one. If I really want I could figure it out.”

They just didn’t want to. Hm. Purple was an enigma at the best of times, pulling secrets out of strings like that and then shutting them up again before King could blink.

But he hadn’t offered his pains either, so he let them bury theirs.

Blood Countess: A Summary

It occurred to me that other CoS blogs do great jobs at summarizing their campaigns and I never managed to sit down and say what on earth is happening in mine. I'm running a gender-swapped CoS that I call "Blood Countess". It explores Strahd not only as a woman, but as a bereaved mother, a weapon in her mother's quest for godhood, and as powerful a mage and general as "I, Strahd" envisions the character as. I'm going to put the summary below, but also invite people to ask me anything! I've been developing this version of the game for a long while now and I'm dying to talk about it! Thanks for reading!

When my “Blood Countess” game started, I had six players. It was far too many and not everyone’s play styles meshed. Two of the players left after the first session due to scheduling conflicts. Another left after fewer than ten sessions because he caused inter-party conflict. My three remaining players have been phenomenal. I will make a note to say that the player who left after approximately ten sessions left a lasting impression on the game, so he will be referenced as “Aarakocra Ranger”. The others, I will name by their characters, as well as character race and class.

The premise of this campaign is deceptively simple. What if Strahd von Zarovich was a woman? In the CoS community, a very popular fan module, "She is the Ancient” already exists, which does a similar reimagining. However, I excel at reinventing the wheel. I read “She is the Ancient” and found the author’s commitment to avoiding problematic representation simultaneously impressive and bothersome. Although I own it, I set it aside to build “Blood Countess”. The characters who began the game were the aforementioned Aarakocra Ranger; a Reborn Celestial Warlock named Sister Theodora, who was created by the Abbot of Krezk as a potential bride for Strahd; a Half-Elf Grave Domain Cleric named Alistor, who is the grandson of the dragon Argynvost and the love-child of Strahd von Zarovich (here reimagined as a Half-Elf) and Alek Gwilym; and a Human Spirits Bard, who was Actual Zak Bagans from the Travel Channel, who was meant as a short-term character and who would later be replaced by a Human Monster Hunter Ranger, Tam Mantigieri, who is the reincarnation of Sergei von Zarovich.

The party first encountered Ismark Kolyanovich in the woods outside Barovia Village, as they were under attack by a truly ridiculous amount of wolves. Accompanied by several villagers, including a grown Thorn Durst (who is Ismark’s ex-boyfriend and political rival), Ismark helped the party dispatch the wolves and uncover the body of his friend, Dalvan, who was trying to deliver a letter to the outside world on behalf of Ismark’s recently deceased father, Kolyan. The characters convened in the Blood on the Vine Tavern where Ismark and Thorn briefed them on the situation in Barovia Village: Ismark’s father, the burgomaster, recently died of a heart attack while the Kolyanovich manor was under siege by Countess Strahd von Zarovich. The countess has been attempting to woo and/or kidnap Ismark’s younger sister, Ireena, for the last year. She has attacked Ireena a few times, but never successfully seduced her or turned her into a vampire. Ismark wants to take Ireena to the next town over, Vallaki, which is a two-day trip, but there have been mysterious deaths in Barovia Village for the last year and he feels obligated as the burgomaster to put his people at ease before prioritizing his family. He and Ireena also need help burying Kolyan, which shouldn’t be a hard task, but a year ago, Doru Donavich led 75% of the village’s young adults in a rebellion against Strahd and all were slaughtered. Finding strong backs to carry the coffin has been a challenge. The party agreed to help Ismark with all three of his tasks. The funeral led the party to a church in utter disrepair, with a depressed and half-mad priest, Father Donavich. The event was also “crashed” by the countess herself. Strahd offered funeral gifts to Ireena and Ismark and insisted that she would come back to check their progress on solving the murders. During this meeting, several other things of note happened. First, the Aarakocra Ranger demanded that Strahd give him a gift. She cast “Suggestion” on him and commanded him to fly as high as he could for his gift. He flew into the mists, which give levels of exhaustion for each minute spent in them. This led to him falling out of the sky, very nearly to his death, and being immobilized until Thorn’s sister, Rose, used her druidic magic to heal him. It was a terrifying power move. Strahd also scored a Nat 20 on insight checking Alistor, thus realizing the uncanny resemblance between him and his father, Alek Gwilym, and realizing that he was her son. Lastly, when Strahd left, Theo discovered that Father Donavich was keeping his son, Doru, under the church as a vampire spawn. She allowed him to drink from her and the two bonded over being monstrous against their will/nature. Thorn also told Zak about the March of the Dead: the parade of the fallen villagers who reenact their failed rebellion every night.

The party decided to investigate the Donaviches and their role in the mysterious deaths in the village, but they also checked out the Durst Pie Emporium and learned that Rose and Thorn ran a pie shop under the patronage of their godmother, Morgantha. An investigation led them to learn that Morgantha was a hag and the pie flour was made of the ground bone dust of humans. Now that they had two leads, the party had to decide which to pursue when reporting to Strahd. Further complications ensue as Theo, who wears a full habit and veil, grapples with the fact that she was created to perfectly resemble Ireena to placate Strahd. Alistor spent his time trying to hide his holy magic as well as his kindness, which he failed to do. His selflessness impressed Ismark a lot. Theo spent more time at the church, bonding with Doru and the two briskly tripped into something like love… which is complicated by the fact that Theo is both promised to the countess and has feelings for Stella Wachter in her adopted hometown, Vallaki. The Aarakocra Ranger got kidnapped by the hags and Alistor rescued him. Then, the group devised a plan to stage an attack by Doru in Durst Manor to summon the hags and Strahd. They turned the hags over to Strahd for justice and she swiftly killed them. After she departed, Ismark turned leadership of Barovia Village over to Thorn. However, Rose insisted they should bury the hags by the family windmill. Since they would be traveling in the same direction, the party and the Durst siblings traveled together. They made it to Tser Pool and camped with the Vistani. There, Madam Eva insisted upon reading for the characters. She indicated the locations of the treasures they would need to defeat Strahd and hinted at character deaths to come, future allies, and secrets the player characters were trying to keep. Morning arrived and so too did a flood. The Dursts fled in one direction; the party in the other. They took the high road to avoid the swollen river and were ambushed by Rahadin and dhampir soldiers. While they could not defeat Rahadin, they dispatched the dhampir soldiers with surprising swiftness. However, Zak Bagans perished in the fight and the party pushed his body into the river. They continued to Vallaki.

Around this time, the Aarakocra Ranger player had caused problems with every member of the group. He demanded solo sessions, sold the party out, complained that his character was not narratively tied to the game despite not attempting to tie into the story, and refused plot hooks I offered him. He was not invited back. When the party arrived in Vallaki, I ruled that Izek Strazni shot Aarakocra Ranger out of the sky and killed him, believing him to be a spy from the city of Immol. The remaining characters (Theo, Alistor, Ireena, and Ismark) were welcomed into Vallaki with ease. The first person the party encountered upon arrival was Victor Vallakovich, who presented them with exposition about the town: the Festival of the Blazing Sun and Feast of St. Andral were due to fall on the same day in three days, but, more importantly, Theo’s adoptive father, Father Lucian Petrovich, had died during Theo’s absence from town. The funeral had already happened and Lucian’s former acolyte (and suspected biological daughter), Zinnadia Swilova, had taken over the Church of St. Andral. Theo, grief-stricken and rage-fueled, immediately booked it to the church to take over the services. It was awkward, but a very powerful moment for her. The party also met Tam Mantigieri at the Blue Water Inn. Before this - and don’t quote my timeline - Tam was making his way from his home in Mount Baratok to the town of Vallaki. On his way, he discovered a kidnapper with two children he intended to drown: a Vistana girl named Arabelle and a Dusk Elf boy named Kian. Arabelle is the daughter of the Vistani leader, Luvash, and the Vistani offered Tam a reward for his service. Kian is the first Dusk Elf child anyone has seen in three hundred years. Tam returned him to his mother, Patrina Velikovna, and though grateful, the Dusk Elves have little to offer him. Tam, modest by nature, insisted there was nothing he wanted from them. He immediately charmed the party and volunteered to help them solve the mystery of Lucian’s death, which seemed to be foul play. Because Tam and Theo are from Vallaki, they didn’t meet NPCs so much as interact with neighbors, friends, and enemies. Tam revealed that he had been in love with the coffin maker’s daughter, Valeria, before she left Vallaki to marry a wealthy man in Immol named Vasili von Holtz; before that, he had been romantic rivals with Nikolai Wachter over Elizaveta Vallakovich, the Vallakoviches eldest child who disappeared two years ago, right around the time Nikolai Wachter Sr. died of a mysterious illness. Tam also enjoys teasing Victor, who is Theo’s best friend and adoptive cousin. Izek Strazni has a crush on Theo that won’t quit. The Wachters, local menaces, were showing their out-of-town cousin, Lavinia around Vallaki, which prompted suspicion from characters who hailed from Vallaki. Theo sent letters to the clergy of Barovia to inform them of her father’s death. She did not expect to hear back.

The party began their investigation of Lucian’s death at the Church of St. Andral. There, they discovered that the bones of St. Andral were missing, signs of a struggle (not a suicide) in Lucian’s office, and a vampire spawn in the coffin in which Lucian was meant to be buried. They at first suspected Zinnadia of the death, but after she helped them fight the vampire spawn, they figured they should do more research. They went to the coffin maker’s shop. There, Theo discovered some (but not all) of St. Andral’s bones and Alistor discovered a room filled with vampire spawn. Panicking, Alistor set the building ablaze and evacuated. The coffin maker, Mr. Vander Voort, did not escape, but Valeria did and reported to the burgomaster immediately. The party, who received invitations to various events, including “craft time” for the impending festival at Vallakovich Manor, used it as an excuse to come in and begin exploring. Alistor really enjoyed it! The other characters? Not so much. Alistor also caught the eye of a local nobleman, Rafael Buckvhold, which inspired the first stirrings of jealousy in Ismark. Meanwhile, Theo discovered that Lucian was alive and being held prisoner in a makeshift jail cell in an upstairs closet of Vallakovich Manor. She asked Victor to distract everyone (which he did, using Hypnotic Pattern), while the party smuggled Lucian back to the Blue Water Inn. There, Lucian revealed that for all his and Vargas’ political differences, the final nail in the proverbial coffin was Lucian’s discovery that Vargas was having an affair with Zinnadia Swilova, Lucian’s daughter, with the intent to promote her within civil service (possibly to baroness if Lydia met an unfortunate demise). The brothers-in-law fought and Lucian lost, ending up as a prisoner in his sister’s home. The party planned to stage Lucian’s return from the dead as a miracle and sought to find the remaining holy relics for the church.

The next day, they spent time at Wachterhaus and learned the details of Stella’s condition. Victor (accidentally!) made her think she was a cat. Fiona wants retribution for her poor Stella. Nikolai and Lavinia watched the party closely. The party decided to snoop and broke into Stella’s room and discovered her state was worse than they thought. They knew they would need a “remove curse” spell to put her right. Ireena and Theo also stole into Fiona Wachter’s room and stole an iron lockbox. Theo tried to open it, but it was trapped and so it knocked her unconscious. Ireena was able to put her right, using her paladin abilities, but Nikolai Wachter caught them. They admitted to wanting to help Stella. He said that if they could do that, he would help them with whatever they needed. What the characters didn’t know was that Fiona and Lavinia both heard them stealing the lockbox. Moreover, what the party suspects but does not know is that Lavinia is Strahd in disguise. She wants to get close to Alistor and/or Ireena for vastly different reasons, but cannot bring herself to speak to Alistor for fear of getting him killed. He is her last scrap of humanity that she didn’t know she still had. The party smuggled the lockbox out of Wachterhaus and returned to the Blue Water Inn. They discovered the remaining bones of St. Andral inside and a letter from the burgomaster of Immol, Dagmar Olyavna, proposing an alliance with Fiona if she takes over Vallaki, as well as thanking her for the item exchange. It is now clear that Dagmar has the Tome of Strahd. Theo relayed what she and Ireena discovered about Stella to the party and Alistor announced that he has a brother in Barovia (specifically Argynvostholt) who may be able to help cure Stella. They resolve to go to Argynvostholt after the festival.

That night, the characters have strange dreams. Tam dreams of being a man called Sergei von Zarovich and meeting a beautiful woman named Tatyana, who looks just like Ireena. Theo has her first dream ever of a blond man smuggling babies out of a castle. Alistor has a nightmare vision of his goddess, taunting him. Alistor and Ismark, who are sharing a bed, are awoken suddenly by Alistor’s night terrors and the party assumes they are having sex. This becomes a running joke but it’s painful because Alistor and Ismark would very much like to have sex with each other.

On the day of the Feast/Festival, the party stages Lucian’s reappearance in society as a miracle, and the townsfolk believe he is a saint. The festival itself is… odd. The party overhears the bard Rictavio telling a gruesome story about Strahd’s defeat of the Order of the Silver Dragon, which makes Alistor doubt that his brother and grandfather (Grand Paw) are alive. Izek meets Ireena and Theo at the same time and cannot tell who is his “true love”. He and Ismark almost come to blows because Izek will not stop harassing the girls. Vargas calls him off. Because Alistor killed all the vampire spawn in the coffin maker’s shop and Theo reconsecrated the church, they circumvented a larger attack. They accomplish some tasks in town for a day and then set out for Argynvostholt. Along the way, they come across Valeria von Holtz’s impaled body in the woods and are ambushed by one of Strahd’s brides/generals and her lieutenants. Alistor goes down but is revived. The characters barely escape with their lives and they reach Argynvostholt… which is in ruins. Undaunted, the party continues. There, they see a time- and war-ravaged castle that was once beautiful and briefly encounter Argynvost’s ghost. They seek out the fallen knights and Alistor is reunited with his twin brother, Godfrey, who has become a revenant. Godfrey explains the fall of Argynvostholt and the sorry state of the Order. Still, it is a bittersweet reunion, as neither thought they would see each other again. They spend the night catching up while the other characters explore the ruins and meet other fallen knights.

In the morning, there is a delivery to Argynvostholt: a coffin with Tam’s name inscribed upon it. Upon opening it, a swarm of bats fly out. When they fly away, a horse and rider, pursued by Vistani on dire wolves, appear. The woman on the horse rides with an attache, who turns out to be a very frightened Victor Vallakovich. His teleportation circle worked! And it teleported him to the gates of Ravenloft as Ezmeralda “Ez” D’Avenir was fleeing the vampires inside. She rescued him and rode a stolen horse to Argynvostholt. The Vistani who pursued her are led by Arrigal, Luvash’s brother, and he claims that he has come to mete out justice for Ez’s horse theft. The party refuses to give her up to Arrigal and in exchange, she reads their fortunes (a refresher course for the players). Stressed, Tam angrily hacks the coffin to bits, which alerts the hostile revenants to the party’s presence. Godfrey kicks them out for the time being to protect them. On their way back, the party examines Valeria’s corpse and discovers that she is a dhampir in the service of Strahd’s army, as evidenced by the brand of the von Zarovich crest on her side… in the same place that Alistor was branded with it as punishment by a commanding officer during his time on the Material Plane.

The party returns to Vallaki and receives letters. Theo receives sympathy and tenderness from Doru about Lucian’s death, so she writes to him to clear the misunderstanding up. She receives a strange, doomsday-esque letter from the Church in Immol as well. Alistor receives an invitation from Rafael Buckvhold to join in on making masks for the next festival: a masquerade. He agrees to come and Rafael kisses him in the garden and invites him to bed after arts and crafts time. Upon noticing Alistor’s brand, Rafael assumes Alistor is on the same side as the Buckvhold family. Tam confesses his dream to Ireena and they have a conversation about past lives and nightmares, which brings them closer together. Alistor comes back to the inn and tells Ismark he slept with Rafael, which Ismark tries to act normal about. Alistor also hears a creepy song from Rictavio that reminds him of his nightmare. At the church, Izek proposes to Theo. Theo writes to Doru to ask him to either pretend to be (or really be) her fiance to deter Izek’s advances. The next day, Alistor buys Godfrey a costume for the masquerade, so they can smuggle him into town to heal Stella. Tam and Theo go to lunch at Wachterhaus and learn Lavinia has left for the time being and Lady Wachter thinks the party should aid her in “getting rid of” Izek. Ismark receives a letter from Thorn detailing the situation in Barovia Village: people are getting weird without cannibal pies and Doru is refusing to feed, which means he is acting erratic. Thorn confesses to missing Ismark and tells him that Rose abandoned him. Ismark is conflicted about this letter. Meanwhile, Theo gets two letters. One is from the Abbot, Lucian’s father and her creator, expressing detached remorse for Lucian’s “death”. The other is from Doru, over-enthusiastically accepting her proposal. He writes her the hornie*st, most vampiric love letter and she is smitten. Ismark is uneasy but unsure how to tell her. Alistor and Ismark talk and are interrupted by Victor Vallakovich, who tells them something weird is happening at his house - that he thinks he heard his mother talking to his deceased sister. They join his investigation and discover that Lydia’s study is a cover for a Ba’al Verzi assassin’s headquarters. They find ciphers and letters, an eerie mirror that reeks of conjuration magic, and a dagger that, upon unsheathing, they realize is cursed. Alistor devises a plan: he teaches Victor the “spare the dying” cantrip and asks Ismark to stab him. It turns into a profound (and horny) bonding moment between Alistor and Ismark, which Victor takes as confirmation that they are sleeping together. Ismark stabs Alistor to death and Victor brings him back. Covered in blood, Alistor and Ismark return to the Blue Water Inn. Theo is at the church, which means Alistor and Ismark interrupt a nice moment between Ireena and Tam. Urwin draws them a bath (they take turns) and the two groups fill each other in on what they are experiencing. Sensing unresolved tension between Alistor and Ismark, Ireena elects to stay in Tam’s room with him. Alistor and Ismark have an intimate and vulnerable moment where they talk about how much they trust each other and how relieved they are that Alistor is okay. They embrace and the only thing that keeps them from kissing and falling into bed together is their certainty that Ireena will come in any moment. She doesn’t.

The characters are again plagued with weird dreams. Theo dreams of the blond man again, this time in a war tent, but the dream warps and twists every time she breaks immersion to talk to him. Tam has a nightmare of his and Ireena/Tatyana’s death, narrated by the same voice that tormented Alistor’s nightmare before. Alistor, however, dreams of his grandfather’s ghost. Argynvost tells him how proud he is of him and how grateful he is that he is home. Morning finds Ireena at the window, charmed and bitten by Strahd. Tam is freaked out and tries to keep her safe as the party ventures back to Argynvostholt to deliver Godfrey’s costume. Along the way, they are attacked by needle blights. Once back at Argynvostholt for the night, Tam insists that Ireena should sleep in a windowless room. When she thinks that’s odd, he announces that the whole party should sleep in a windowless room! He, Ireena, Ismark, and Theo do so. Alistor goes to sleep in his childhood bedroom. While Theo sleeps, she hears the voice of the blond man ask, “Ilona? Are you at Argynvostholt?” He tries to ask if Argynvost is there if there are children there, but she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. The dream fades out. The voice of The Morning Lord comes through and speaks to her. Theo is momentarily certain she is speaking to her god, but he slips up and sounds a little too human. She’s aware she’s in the presence of something holy, but something feels off. The conversation is cut short. Unable to sleep, Theo goes to find the knights, only to learn that Vladimir Horngaard keeps a night watch. Godfrey and the other nights help defend her. This occurs every time someone comes up the stairs during the next hour. Vladimir clearly does not remember Godfrey, only referring to him as a “soldier”. Theo joins the revenants and learns to play dice games from them. Godfrey sends the resident squire, Arthund, to hunt game for breakfast for their guests. Alistor gets up, has a confrontation with Vladimir, and then goes to the roof to talk to one of his old friends, Damian, about what happened between Godfrey and Vladimir and also to help him repair a broken ballista. While talking, Damian asks Alistor to deliver a wedding ring he fashioned for his beloved, Dame Almathea, to the memorial crypt for the Order of the Silver Dragon in Immol. Alistor agrees. Meanwhile, Tam comforts Ireena, who is cured of her charmed condition and is angry with herself. Arthund returns with a goat he killed and he is determined to impress Godfrey with his kill. He then confesses he doesn’t know how to cook and so Tam, Ismark, and Ireena take over. Ismark gathers everyone for breakfast. Over roasted goat, the knights tell the party their unfinished business. Sir Erich wants to hunt the roc of Mount Ghakis. Sir Robern wants to find out what became of his family. Dame Ragnelle wants her art returned from Ravenloft to Argynvostholt. Arthund just wants to be a hero. Godfrey takes Alistor aside and tells him that Argynvost’s skull has been taken as a prize by Baba Lysaga and he wants it restored to the mausoleum. The party agree to help all of the knights. On their walk back, Tam discovers a bundle of clothes, which the party surmises belongs to a werewolf. In leaving it alone, they are allowed to pass safely onward. They agree to visit the Dusk Elves because they are meant to have one of the items they need to fight Strahd (the Icon of Ravenloft).

Upon arriving at Huldefolk, the Dusk Elf settlement, the characters realize they are being watched oddly. The guards outside Patrina’s home ask Alistor who his mother’s clan is. He does not know his mother, but he can name Alek Gwilym as his father. This causes gossip to kick up and the elves search for his mother. Tam insists upon speaking to Patrina. She reluctantly allows the party into her home, where the other characters meet her ten-year-old son, Kian, who is studying to be a mage. Tam tells Patrina that he and Ireena are having unsettling dreams about lives together and Patrina confesses that one of the reasons she took to Tam is because she believes he is the reincarnation of Sergei von Zarovich. She declares that Ireena must be Tatyana and she is very sorry. Theo and Alistor examine the religious statues Patrina keeps and learn of the Lady of Shadows, also known as The Raven Queen, who was Queen Ravenovia von Royen von Zarovich in life. Alistor hates this, but Tam hates all of it so much that he goes outside to throw up. Ireena follows him. Patrina explains how Ravenovia ascended to godhood and the party detects resentment, maybe even hatred in Patrina’s voice. She tells Alistor that if they do not find his mother, out of respect for his father’s memory, she will claim Alistor for clan Velikov to give him permission to visit and remain in Huldefolk. As the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear that Patrina knows who Alistor’s mother might be but will not say. Theo asks Patrina about the prophesied item. Patrina eventually confesses to having the Icon of Ravenloft and needing it to protect Kian. She admits she has a dangerous mission at the Amber Temple she intends to complete to save her people, but that she cannot bequeath the item to the party until it is done because it is her only insurance for Kian’s safety from Strahd. The party agrees to help her with her mission in the Amber Temple in exchange for the item.

They return to Vallaki and Theo tells Ireena she has something important to tell her. She takes a drunk VIctor as moral (or “amoral”) support as she confesses that she looks identical to Ireena. Ireena seethes that the Abbot created Theo without considering her as her own person and she seethes that Strahd wants to harm them both. She insists that Theo is still her friend and that it isn’t her that she is mad at. Meanwhile, Ismark shares his letter from Thorn with Alistor, asking what to do. Alistor insists they should tell Theo. Tam sits in the bar with a bottle of wine and tries to ruminate on what he learned about Ravenovia. On a Nat 20, he accesses Sergei’s memories of Ravenovia: how hard it was to secure her love, how she pushed her children, how she drove her children apart. He feels sick. The characters decide to call it a night. Tam and Alistor stay at the inn. Theo, Ireena, and Ismark go to the church, which is now Hallowed ground. Ireena and Theo decide that everyone in the party should match someone else in the party to throw Strahd off everyone’s scent.

That’s where we ended tonight. It’s been WILD and it continues to get more and more interesting. There are a lot of miscellaneous facts I’d like to share, but they are spoilers and it’s almost 6 AM as I type this. I’m DELIGHTED by this game! Thank you for reading!

Baldur's Gate 3 Characters

One more Baldur's Gate 3 art before I go back to doing other art. These are my player characters for my first and second playthrough of the game, as they appeared in their endgame armour sets. And of course I based them on characters I've done in D&D previously.

Originally, Hawthorne was a Rogue (Scout) in our Tomb of Annihilation campaign. In BG3, I gave him levels in Champion Fighter for extra attack, and a fighting style; that combined with some AC increasing items (total AC of 25) helped build him as an up-close skirmisher. As a Thief Rogue in BG3 he gets two Bonus Actions that can both be used on offhand attacks, so on his best turn he can Sneak Attack, Attack, offhand, offhand, (Action Surge) Attack, Attack. He got Volo's blindsight eye as homage to his bad eye in Tomb.

Lilith is a Bard (Eloquence) in our Princes of the Apocalypse campaign, but she's only level 3 so far. In BG3, she's a Lore Bard, with 2 levels of Fey Warlock for Eldritch Blast and Mask of Many Faces, for extra damage and utility. She was built as more of a controller than Hawthorne and would shut down battles with Hold Person or Hypnotic Pattern. When I get back to her campaign in D&D, I'm probably gonna build her the same way. Lilith was a redeemed Dark Urge for those who know what that means.

I have started a profile with a third character in an evil run, but the game has become less interesting after 2 full playthroughs. If or when I complete this last run, I will probably do another art like this.

Playing a Wizard after two characters with Expertise is a very different experience.

IM asking you to ramble about bg3 au and autism blast everywhere. and makeout and how sexy and funny you are.

I love you both so much our wedding is coming soon

Anyway OK listen. Listen to me okay Bg3 refers to baldurs gate 3 and for all you need to know it's a dnd video game where the characters get infected with literal brain worms which should have turned them into murderous cultists, but somehow they got spared that fate, and come together to get rid of their brain worms

The party is made of

Grian: a gnome druid whose preferred wild shape is a bird and who might have some hidden aasimar origins because Grian HAS to be God's favorite princess all the time

Scar: an elf ranger who was torn away from his family when he was kidnapped by illithids, and whose closest bro Cub (a warlock who's made a pact with archfaes) was also infected but sadly was turned into a cultist. Scar is desperately looking for him.

Scott: a tiefling bard/sorcerer who does most of the group's talking with npcs both due to his travels making him the more knowledgeable of the group about the region but also because as a bard you can do wild sh*t like just convince really powerful entities to just kill themselves for fun and that's a very Scott thing to do

Mumbo: a half drow artificer who tbh is the most normal of the group (as far as everyone knows anyway)

Jimmy: half aarakocra (bird :D) vampire cringefail rogue who. Well yeah he's a stand in for astarion me and my friend just wanted a cringefail vampire with negative charisma ok

Joel: A half elf barbarian who has a little secret. The secret is that he's a murderous bastard. But like in the most literal sense of the word

Joel's role specifically has me so mentally ill. Okay. So like. You need a teensy bit of lore for this ok and this will include spoilers for baldy gate 3 if the 2.5 people who read this far intend to play the viddy game well stop reading but still kiss me on the mouth.

So the Lore has many gods and the gods are just real tangible all powerful beings. Much like with Greek mythos, you following a specific god isn't because you only believe in that God, but because you're most devoted to them. Well that's how I see it anyway. And there are three gods associated with death and evil (it's more complicated than that in my hc but we don't have time). One of them is Bhaal. And Bhaal, get this, is the most metal f*cking fictional god I've seen because he's the god of MURDER.

Something something he had to give birth to people called Bhaalspawn for some reason who are his direct children and carry a piece of him within them or something (Bg/dnd superfans don't come at me) and it's all part of his grand plan to take over the world. WHATEVER

But Joel IS a bhaalspawn. And he was Bhaal's specialest most favorite bhaalspawn. And now, okay, the thing about bhaalspawns is that they're not actually inherently evil, but they do carry that part of Bhaal within them - his will, and his potential for power. Some Bhaalspawn are raised specifically to be daddy's best little murderers and of course that's how Joel was brought up.

He was examplary because he was trained to be. He was capable of some of the most rancid bloodshed because it was what he was taught, and rewarded for. He was created to be murder incarnate, so any other emotions (love, empathy, etc) were shunned until Joel was either incapable of it, or refused to show it.

Except something happened. He got betrayed, usurped, and infected with the aforementioned brainworms which led to his memory loss. What did remain, even as he escaped the ship keeping him captive, even as he joined up with other infected survivors, was... A primal need. Like it was coded in his DNA, like it was in his blood itself: he had a need to kill. Not just kill, but spread misery, spread pain, and acquire power at any cost. He mostly unleashes those urges onto his enemies, but it never feels like enough. Like a scratch he can't quite itch. Of course, that's all Bhaal trying to reel him back in, Bhaal trying to reclaim him.

But like clockwork - because such ingrained training doesn't go away no matter how much one thinks they forgot - he finds himself relishing in it. In the violence of it all. The only time he feels truly alive is when he's covered in blood and gut.

... That is, until he finds himself growing closer and closer to Jimmy. After a night where Jimmy, desperately trying to hide his very obvious identity as a vampire but also desperately hungry, tries to feed off of Joel, and reveals his secret... Well, Joel had all rights to kill him right then and there. He reasons that there's no fun in killing someone so helpless but in truth there's something a bit charming about Jimmy. He's earnest, and he's just so... Not exactly innocent, but also sort of? He gives Joel to urge to protect him. To hold him so tight and close as to choke him. But in a sweet way. Probably.

Joel won't be able to put it into words for a long while yet, half because he refuses to let himself feel such things because he's so horrifically repressed. He was the only one at camp who didn't even guess Jimmy was a vampire before the big reveal because he's got negative int and wis (his strategy in battle is just hit things hard before they can hit you and honestly it works most of the time) so he'd just never noticed the obvious signs. Anyway. Because his blood is the tastiest and somehow he's one of the companions who acts the least weird about it, which really says a lot, Jimmy ends up mostly feeding off of him. And, well, something about letting your homie regularly suck blood out of your neck is bound to lead to something more. Joel becomes a bit possessive of his little birdie.

When Joel learns that he's Bhaal's special little princess, in truth he's f*cking elated, because he spends weeks torturing himself in an attempt to remember who he is, what he's doing, what's wrong with him - and he's finally afforded answers. He leans fully into it. He's so happy to serve his God with bloodshed.

Until he's faced with him. With Bhaal. And after Joel committed countless atrocities (which the rest of their group didn't mind that much as lokgi as they stayed in the clear. They're all bad people) bhaal asks him to shed one last bit of blood before receiving his blessing, before becoming his chosen, he who will enact the murder God's plans. He needs to get rid of his pesky earthly desires and affections. They have no place within murder incarnate. He asks Joel to flat out kill Jimmy or die right here and then.

You'd think Joel would hesitate with how intensely pro-Bhaal he is. You'd think it would be a difficult decision. Jimmy would have thought too. Except that Joel's response is instant and intense. He tells Bhaal to go literally f*ck himself, that he'd rather kill every last Bhaalspawn and make sure his bloodline ends with him, rather than lay a finger on Jimmy. Jimmy, whose helped his heavy heart feel so light and free. Jimmy, who makes him feel true warmth. Jimmy, who makes Joel want to appreciate every sunset, every breeze, every breath of fresh air. Jimmy, who treats Joel as so much more than a bloodthirsty beast.

Joel never thought he would want to be anything more than a bloodthirsty beast.

So of course Bhaal kills him because he's literally a god. Right in front of Jimmy. (there's plot and dnd magic that brings him back but it's definitely the culmination of his arc; that Joel, groomed to become murder incarnate, was given an opportunity to find another meaning to his life)

Also they have CRAZY sex

i hope you don’t mind, i saw you like dnd/ttrpgs and i’m just recently getting into them and love talking about the very little i do know lmao

do you have a favorite class in dnd? my first (and only so far) character was a monk, so they kinda have a special place in my heart. i think i want to play a cleric, but they seem sorta complicated and that makes me nervous as a newbie

besides dnd, do you have a favorite system?

and do you watch any ttrpg actual play shows? my go-to is anything dimension 20 because they’re pretty bite sized and fun and are always a good time

hope you’re having a good day!

Favourite D&D class: Warlock, for your same reasons of it being ,y 1st serious character, but Right behind warlock is Bard, which is my own designated class. Magic can be complex, but you get it quickly! I've heard wizards and sorcerers are hardest though.

5e is my beloved. You're so powerful and can get so creative, which means enemies can do the same. For the short time I played Monster of the Week I enjoyed it, though it's not exactly inspired. I ...do not like Fantasy Age as a system.

I don't, dont have that kind of attention span unfortunately. I enjoy the osmosis, and especially the character design I see from big shows!