Adam Smasher, Level 1 Adventurer, Hestia Familia
"...So who's going to carry the corp-" Swordmeat began, looking at the partially mutilated and very smelly body on the ground, and the numerous bloodstains that currently painted the walls and even a bit of the ceiling.
He glanced down, a potion vial on the floor that he hadn't noticed prior. Raccoon had used a healing potion to fix a punctured lung? He didn't know they could do that, good to note, that would allow him to fight more aggressively once he had access to them.
"Why bother?" Adam rumbled out, moving past it without much qualm. Someone else was going to get rid of it eventually, and he didn't feel like carrying deadweight. Especially not deadweight that had lost control of its bowels upon death, and was now reeking like a modern city. Moving onto the chokepoint, he didn't bother giving a glance down at the corpse, nor the section of wall, floor, and ceiling that was cavernously ablated. Like an immense beast had decided to chew a subway tunnel sized indent into the wall, broken up by a lone shadow of unabated material in the direct middle.
The blast of acidic-light that broke all his equipment, items, and loot, and nearly killed him. He grumbled with frustration as he mentally calculated how much he lost with that. A change of clothes, his armor, his bag, his slinger, his crossbow, his bolts, his potions, his antskin cream, and twenty five monster bits. Losing all of that was more than worth staying alive, but it was deeply annoying all the same.
Twenty thousand from the armor, twelve thousand for the crossbow, six thousand for the slinger, two-thousand two-hundred and fifty for the clothes, eight hundred per healing potion, five hundred per antidote, one-hundred and twenty five per bolt, unknown amount for the bag, cream, and monster bits…
"Sixty thousand, at minimum." He grunted in conclusion. "Probably more like seventy thousand."
There was no response for a moment, he glanced back to see the rest of them staring at various things in the room. The wall, his feet, the bloodstains, or the pulpy mash that used to be a person. Scrappy had a troubled look on his face. Bunnybrat threw up. The SS, at the very least, looked relatively unaffected.
"...You really didn't hold back, did you?" Swordmeat asked, scratching his forehead with furrowed brows and a deep frown. "Looks like the aftermath of a direct hit with grapeshot."
"Couldn't risk another attack." He grunted out, irritated that he was in that position in the first place. Lesson learned, he wasn't strong enough to capture targets yet, his frame wasn't up to par quite yet.
Swordmeat considered that for a moment, briefly nodding his head. "...No I suppose not. Not with a magic sword there."
"...What happened to the other one? You fought three of them, didn't you?" Halflead asked, raising his hand and rubbing his chin.
"Used him as a shield against the blast." Adam grunted out, to which Halflead nodded at. "I'd be surprised if there was anything left." He jerked his head over towards the door. "C'mon, enough gawking, we got to get a move on."
That prompted them to stop dragging their feet and start getting a move on, walking up towards the next doorway and towards the stairs leading up to the previous floors once more. He glanced down at his side, where Girlie had yet to leave from or speak. Grunting, he started walking again, taking up the rearguard to handle enemy ambushes and watch the prisoner currently in the middle of the group and being very cooperative.
One million, four hundred and twenty five thousand from earlier that day. Girlie was going to get thirty six ant cores and that magic sword in payment. The other half went to the rest of them for another… one hundred and eight thousand? That was…
"Our total payout for today is one million, five hundred, and thirty three thousand today, if I got my math right." Adam began, speaking over the rest of the group with their daily shares. "Support Squad, your cut is going to be about… four hundred and sixty thousand total."
"Mighty obliged, Mister Smasher." Halflead responded with a smile in his voice. The other two supporters did a brief merry gesture, throwing their fists into the air and giving a 'hurrah!'.
"Swordmeat, Scrappy. Your shares and the Familia share is going to be about two hundred and seventy thousand each. My share is going to be thirty-thousand less than that."
Swordmeat gave his own little 'hup!', which Scrappy participated in half-heartedly, distracted by something.
"Brats, you're getting ten-thousand each for the tip-off."
"Aww…" Bunnybrat responded, having recovered from her puking episode earlier. Foxbrat's ears also slumped, tail wagging slowly back and forth.
"Kaede-san, we normally make like… a third of that total." Halfbrat reminded her.
"Oh." Bunnybrat blinked, before giving an exaggerated 'hup!' and bouncing in place. "Woohoo! We made a whole lot today!" Foxbrat similarly cheered, skipping along with a renewed enthusiasm.
Adam grunted, turning his attention towards Tinygirl, who was staring at him with a focused expression and furrowed brows. "Girlie, there's seventy two ant cores in your bag, you're getting half, so thirty six. That's fifty four thousand valis for today, plus that sword."
"Lili understands. Smasher-sama is very generous for giving so much to Lili." She responded with quick nods.
His brows furrowed and lip quirked at the third-person sh*t, before promptly ignoring it. He snorted and turned his attention back forwards, continuing the pace upwards. The brats in front of him were chattering about how fun this group was, which reminded him of something.
"Oi, question for anyone who knows." He grunted out, bringing Swordmeat and the SS' attention back towards him. They were probably going to have to recruit eventually, so it was best to figure out how this sh*t worked sooner rather than later. "The transfer process between familias, what is it and what are the fees involved?"
"The specifics are normally worked out between gods." Halflead answered with a waggle of his head. "The guild doesn't get involved beyond making sure the paperwork gets sorted, but if both gods agree on the transfer, they handle the falna component."
"...For each employee?" Adam furrowed his brows and questioned with a grumble. "You need top-level approval for every new murderer in your band?"
"Employee…? Adam, is that what you see Familias as?" Swordmeat questioned him with a backwards glance and a raised brow.
"It's what it is." Adam grunted out. "We agree to perform work, usually murdering monsters, to produce capital for our employers, said employers grant us superhuman abilities to perform this work better. We're mercenary companies by any other name, it's the same sh*t I've been doing for years already."
There was quiet for a moment. Halfchain waggled his own head back and forth. "He's not exactly wrong, per say. It's just a bit more pragmatic than you normally hear, which makes sense coming from a merc."
"Needing highest level approval for every merc that comes in, with the death rates this line of work implies? That caps you at a few hundred employees at best, only so many hours in the day." Adam grumbled out.
"I don't think any familia in Orario is bigger than about four hundred, Ganesha and Demeter, but Demeter isn't a combat group anyhow." Halfred responded, consideringly. "How big did the mercenary groups get back where you're from?"
Adam considered it for a moment. Arasaka and Militech both had large private standing armies, typically deployed as mercenaries for hire to any bidder, but the ones who really focused on it was…
"...The biggest I remember was the Lazarus Group, they had about three hundred thousand soldiers last I checked." He eventually settled on.
Many in their little band sputtered and tripped over their own feet. The band as a whole staggered for a brief moment, before slowly picking up the pace again.
"Three-hundred THOUSAND?" Swordmeat replied with a baffled tone. "That's… That's bigger than every Rakian Legion combined!"
"How big is Abandon?" Scrappy asked, pulled from his contemplative mood by the reveal and asking a direct question. The moment he mentioned the name of the place in question, the tone of the band grew somewhat dark.
"Ah… Yer from Abandon then? I can't say I'm too surprised…" Halfchain responded with a frown.
Adam had no idea where or what that was, so instead he grunted noncommittally.
"...What's Abandon? Everytime I ask about it Adam just grunts at me. I was going to ask Eina-san later, but…" Scrappy questioned.
"What was Abandon, is the better question." Halflead responded with a sigh. "Used to be the largest kingdom in the world. They had a few names for it."
"Celestial Empire. Land of Flowers. Middle Kingdom." Halfred continued. Ah, Adam got it now, it was whatever local equivalent to China they had. That gave him something to work with.
"Then, Zeus and Hera decided they were going to go and kill the One Eyed Black Dragon, which conveniently descended right in the damn middle of the country. One night of battle later? One country is shattered, the land cursed, two familias dead, and One Eyed had vanished." Halfchain finished out. "They say more people died that night than most countries had in people."
"...How many people lived there…?" Scrappy asked out, hesitant. Adam began to consider the pros and cons of getting guildplate again or having a custom ordered.
"...We came through, on our way to Orario, escorted by a friendly band of mercenaries." Foxbrat responded with folded ears. "They called it Qi Shijie, Abandoned World. Every village we passed had piles of corpses on the outskirts, set aflame with pitch. They said it was faster than burying, but it smelled awfully bad…" Maybe he'd buy lower grade armor to tide him over while a custom fit is getting constructed?
"We were attacked every few days by different groups, our allies managed to repel them each time, but…" Bunnybrat responded with equally low tones. Although buying something so disposable rankled him. He still needed some kind of armor.
It was quiet for a long few moments. Maybe if he buys a shield first he can get away with not having armor… No, absolutely not, he needed armor.
"Adam… You said you were in the army, and then a mercenary for a while…" Scrappy began. "...How many people have you… killed?" He hesitated on the words for a moment.
Adam grunted, thinking about that for a few moments, before coming to an answer.
"Lost count." This frame didn't have a built in recorder for him to check with. Somewhere in the upper eighty thousands, he thinks.
…Oh wait, he got his answer, didn't he?
"If Tinytit* needs to administrate the transfer, you brats need an interview first. We'll do that after getting out of the dungeon today." Adam grunted out. "If she decides to take you in, we'll head over to talk to your employer afterwards, got it?"
"I'm sure Hestia-sama will be glad to have them! A bigger familia is definitely better, and right now it's just the two of us!"
"We'll be on our best behavior! Lili-han! You should ask too! It's not like Soma is going to mind!" Foxbrat excitedly chirped, tail wagging as she turned to look at Pipsqueak. After a moment of walking backwards, Foxbrat tripped and fell on her ass with a yelp. Her friends quickly helped her to her feet again.
Really impressive potential recruits. Adam rumbled in mild irritation, they had to start somewhere, but this was a poor showing. Pipsqueak didn't respond, prompting Scrappy to call out. "You're free to meet Hestia-sama too, Lili-san! I'm sure she'll be happy to cook for some many people, she mentioned house-warming parties the other day."
Pipsqueak gave a noncommittal "A-ah… L-lili wouldn't want to intrude…"
That line of conversation continued for a few moments, Pipsqueak proving herself incapable of saying no flat out. So she'll likely be dragged along by Scrappy's overly enthusiastic recruiting efforts. He was a teen boy, Adam supposed, it was naturally he'd trip over himself to have girls over.
"...You call your goddess 'Tinytit*'?" Swordmeat questioned, returning to a prior statement with a befuddled look on his face.
Adam nodded absentmindedly. "She's tiny and has big tit*. It's her two defining characteristics."
"Adam!" Scrappy called out reproachfully as the Support Squad exploded into chuckles. Swordmeat considered that for a moment with a faint smile.
"Wouldn't Tinytit* imply that she has small breasts, not the other way around?" He pointed out.
Adam took that in, then grunted in irritation.
"I'll have to think of another name." He admitted, much to Swordmeat's amusem*nt. Wouldn't do to be inaccurate with his labeling.
He glanced at the prisoner again, and made a note to just drop him off at the guild. A proper message probably wasn't worth it if he was already getting his Employer involved.
—
"Hestia-sama! Hestia-sama! Do you mind guests?!" Scrappy called out from ahead, at the door of the church already maybe ten meters up ahead. His antics caused the Brats to giggle, while Pipsqueak was still looking baffled about how exactly Scrappy managed to convince her to come with him, like a mystery that she couldn't quite put together.
Adam, for his part, was deliberately ignoring Catmeat poking her head out of the alleyway behind them, having started following him since he passed by her overpriced place of work wearing nothing but the torn rags of her advertisem*nt bag.
Get f*cked catmeat, he was using your product as shorts.
He couldn't quite hear their employer's (Not shortstack, already had one of those) response, but Scrappy excitedly leaned back out and waved both his hands in an 'all clear!' fashion with a wide grin. Kid was excited to have girls over, it looked like. Adam rumbled, reaching the doorway and opening it up for the Brats and Pipsqueak to step inside, before he followed suit.
"Welcome to the Hesti-" Employer stopped, smile fading into a critical look as she cast her gaze across the four nervous girls standing in front of her, just inside the doorway. Then a glance towards him, clad in a leather bag and nothing else.
He snorted, moving over to the drawer that had a change of his clothes in it, and moving to the other room to put it on. Last time he changed in the center room Employer had ranted at him for several minutes, which was annoying.
Through the door, he could hear Employer (That one wasn't good, he needed a better name) talking again. "...You didn't mention that they were all girls, Bell." He pulled off the scraps of leather, tossing them aside and starting the process of putting on his clothes properly. First the pants.
"Oh… Uh… Yeah they're girls. This is Momiji-san, then Kaede-san, then Coco-san, then Lili-san! They helped us out in the dungeon today, big time!" Scrappy responded, first confused, then dismissing his confusion and replying happily, like a baby chicken walking headfirst into a meat grinder. Adam put on his shirt, leaving it mostly unlaced.
"...Is that why Adam was naked?" Twintails questioned flatly.
"I was wearing something, woman!" Adam called out from the other room, pulling up his socks.
Woman immediately called back. "A loincloth doesn't count as clothes! If you weren't a delinquent you'd know this! You flashed everyone in Orario walking home! Gah!"
"...he protected me." Pipsqueak responded quietly, interrupting Woman as she was about to gear up for another growling sentence. "From a magic sword… He was in between it and me…"
Adam walked out of the other room, now clothed again and realizing that he needed to buy boots too. "Don't make it sound so touchy-feely, pipsqueak. You were just lucky to be behind me." He growled out, finally moving over to set his pilfered mace next to the door. Currently his only weapon.
"There was totally like a huge whoosh in the wall!" Foxbrat cleverly explained, waving her arms around for emphasis. "And a space in the middle where it wasn't so whooshed! It was totally awesome!"
"It cost me seventy thousand valis, damnit." Adam grunted, moving over to put a few more chunks of firewood in the hearth, noting the pot was currently full of stew. Potato stew, same as yesterday, fine by him. "I'm going to have to replace all that gear now. I should've shot the bastard twice."
"Tanuki is sneaky!" Bunnybrat nodded emphatically, raising her hands to form fake ears. You already have ears, dumbass. "But you got him!"
A missile crashed into his back, unbalancing him for a moment and forcing himself to brace against the wall. He snarled as he rightened himself, attempting to reach around and snag the offending creature. "Goddamnit woman!"
"Blasphemy!" Scrappy cried out, removing his boots, mostly finished with the rest of his armor.
His employer had just pounced onto him like a bobcat and was in the process of smugly rubbing her face against his back. "My big, tough delinquent was a real hero today! I'm so happy! If you started talking about the good things you do instead of being grumpy all the time, I wouldn't worry about you so much!"
"Get the f*ck off my back!" He growled, clawing at her but not quite able to reach her. "I'll slam you into this f*cking wall woman!"
That managed to dislodge her enough for him to grab and pry off. Immediately forcing her back to arms length, she dangled in his arms with an enormous smile and happy wiggles.
He glared into her delighted eyes.
"Do not." He warned, dropping her like a sack of potatoes. Unfortunately she managed to land on her feet, twirl happily for a few moments, then turned to the four girls near the door. Said girls were staring in wonder at the scene that unfolded before them, practically awestruck.
"Welcome to the Hestia Home! Would you like to stay for dinner? We have potato stew and spoons!" Twintails happily offered, amending her lack of spoons from yesterday. "Please tell me all about how good my familia is doing, they don't brag like boys should!"
The girls were silent for a few moments.
"Can I stay forever?" Halfbrat quietly asked instead. A sentiment followed by two enthusiastic sets of nodding from Foxbrat and Bunnybrat. Pipsqueak was still staring in silent awe.
Scrappy laughed happily at that. Adam grumbled, moving out back to get a drink from the well.
He'd come back inside when the food was ready.
