Chapter Text
Porsche is still groggy when his phone starts ringing on the bedside table. In fact, he is so tired that he misses the call, only for it to start ringing again immediately.
Chay. And Chay doesn't really call like this. He is actually one to text, even in more serious situations. It makes his insistent calling more alarming, enough to pull Porsche out of his drowsiness and make him alert?
“Chay?”
The name is barely out of his mouth before Chay starts rapidly telling him what's going on.
“Ma talked. She just told me two words by telling me to get out, but she talked. Then, she screamed it. I obviously didn't get out because she was clearly upset and I felt like I couldn't do that after what happened before. So I stayed and tried to get her to tell me what was wrong and she ordered me to stop calling her Ma because Korn killed her sons and took everything from her. She remembers us. I don't think she has connected who we are yet because she thinks her kids are dead, but she remembers them and we need to make it clear to her that we’re not. So you need to get over here. Right now.”
Porsche doesn't waste another second. He confirms he is on his way as he is scrambling off the bed and running towards the door. He doesn't grab his house shoes, and he doesn't even answer Kinn when Kinn asks him what is wrong. He’ll tell him later. Right now, he needs to get to Chay and Ma because Ma remembers. She remembers.
Porsche can only hope that's a good thing, even though it doesn't feel that way when he lets himself into the suite, hears her screaming, and sees Chay standing in her doorway, refusing to move.
“She isn't listening,” Chay says, his words barely understandable under the noise and the strangled tone, “She's…I don't know, she is melting down. She won't…She can't…”
As Chay trails off, Porsche looks into the room and sees his mother pacing around and clutching her head as she wails. Phoenix is perched on her dresser and watching her intently. Koda is under the bed and occasionally peeking his head out to peer at her with concern. When it comes to Chay, he seems to be at a loss. Porsche isn't feeling any more confident, but he needs to try to get through to her.
He needs her to remember them. He has needed that for over two years now.
“Don't call her Ma,” Chay says quietly, “She has gotten more upset whenever I tried that.”
He's glad Chay said that. It was going to be the first word out of Porsche’s mouth.
But what is he supposed to say? What other way can he make her see they call her that because she is their mother? As he mulls it over in his head, he can only settle on one thing.
“What are their names?”
Ma keeps crying and wailing with grief, so Porsche pushes back his own emotions, goes to sit on her bed, and looks up at her.
“Hey,” he says with more volume, “I just want you to answer one question so we can help you-”
“No one can help me!” she signs furiously.
“You're wrong,” Porsche signs back, “Please answer. What were their names?”
Ma’s chest is heaving as she glares down at him with tear filled eyes, “You don't care! No one does! Korn killed them! Dead!”
As Ma starts to wail again, Porsche grips onto her arm hard enough to startle her. She looks down at his hand with surprise and tries to yank back, only for Porsche to keep holding on.
“You had two sons,” he says, trying to keep his voice steady, even though he isn't able to meet her gaze, “You also have two people here who have called you Ma since you were taken out of that room - both of them boys. So let me ask you again: What are their names?”
Ma says nothing, only to go tense in his hold seconds later. When he dares to look up at her, she is staring at him in disbelief.
“Ma,” he finally says, his breath hitching, “What are your sons’ names?”
As tears drip down her face, she shakes her head, “My sons…They are young. Seven and a half and almost two-”
“They were that age at one point,” Porsche says agreeably, “And then Korn did unforgivable sh*t, put you in that room, and your boys were forced to grow up without their mother. They needed their mother and father so badly and were robbed of that. Just like you were robbed of your life and getting to raise your babies. What are their names?”
Ma doesn't respond before yanking her arm out of his grip before backing away.
“No,” she signs, then goes towards the open door, “No.”
“He's telling the truth, Ma,” Chay says, sniffling, “Let's sit down and talk-”
“No!” Namphueng signs, then quickly walks away. Porsche jumps to his feet, only for Chay to hold out a hand.
“She just went to sit on the couch,” Chay murmurs, “She's thinking. I can tell. Let's give her a minute.”
So they do. They give her all the time she needs until she picks her head up, turns her tear-smeared face towards them, and picks up her hands to sign.
“Their names were Porsche and Porchay.”
Porsche nods, feeling tears fill his eyes too, “And they're alive. They're alive, and they have been here with you ever since they found out you were alive as well. We’re here, Ma. And we’re never going to be separated again.”
Chay steps forward too, “Can we sit with you? Please?”
Ma stays quiet, but eventually nods her head. As they sit on either side of her, they let her take the lead on continuing the conversation.
She doesn't. She doesn't sign one word - or say one, if what Chay said on the phone is true. But they still follow her lead when she pulls them both in for a hug by hugging her back. And when she begins to cry, they both do too.
It takes a few minutes to voice to Lane what he had to his brothers last night. Being sober makes the task both easier and harder to navigate. He doesn't expect her to truly understand, although she accepts him being a virgin fine. She doesn't even show an ounce of surprise.
“Is it that obvious?” Kim asks, not sure how to take her calm and uneventful acceptance.
“No,” Lane says, then shrugs, “I don't give the sex lives of others’ much thought, not even my clients’ unless they bring it up like you are now. I’m not sure what you mean by saying you're a virgin. From what you just told me, it sounds like you have been intimate with Chay.”
Kim lets out a sigh, “I have been. But we’re…taking things a step further on our trip. Doing something we haven't done before. And…I don't know. Part of me wonders if that will go okay when he doesn't know this is…still new to me. And more than a part of me wonders why I haven't done anything with anyone until now. Why I didn't just…get it over with, even if it meant doing it with someone I wasn't into.”
“Would that have been a decision you would have felt okay with?”
“...No,” Kim says, shifting in his seat, “I…thought about it from time to time when I was younger. Just hooking up with someone to get it over with so that it wouldn't loom over my head. So I wouldn't feel more different than I already felt. But the thought of doing that with someone I didn't care about was worse than the thought of being regarded as strange.”
“You're not strange,” Lane says, “It sounds like you made the decision that was best for you by waiting for someone you felt comfortable being intimate with.”
Kim feels like it was the right decision for him too.
But still…
“Things are going really well,” Kim says slowly, “I really enjoy…being intimate with him. It makes me feel closer to him. I enjoy making him feel good, and I like that he makes me feel good. But…I feel like sex doesn't mean the same thing as it does for him. I don't drool over Chay and actively fantasize about what I might do with him later that night. I appreciate his looks. I think he's good looking, and I sometimes find myself admiring his physical features. But…what I have with him isn't really about his looks or even sex, at least on my end. It's about wanting to be close to him and feeling comfortable with him. It's about feeling connected to him. I just…I hear people talk about their significant others or people they like, and I don't think my brain works like theirs do. And I wonder why I am still different, even though I know that I am in love with him.”
It's the first time he has ever voiced that out loud. Sober, at least. The one time drunk had been to Chay, and he distinctly remembers Chay telling him it didn't have to count if Kim didn't want it to. So even though he isn't saying those words to Chay now, they still feel heavy and important and-
“Have you ever looked into asexuality?”
Kim’s mind comes to a halt.
“Uh…” Kim starts, “Briefly, before I got with Chay. It never felt right, because I had urges. And I wanted…I wanted to fall in love.”
“Love and sex can often be interconnected, but are also very separate things,” Lane says.
Kim is aware of that. It had been for Kinn after Tawan did what he did.
But still…
“They're the same thing for me,” Kim says.
“How are they the same for you?”
“I…” Kim starts, “I don't know. I always told myself I wanted to wait to have sex until I was in love. I knew it would be more appealing if I fell in love. I was right. I really enjoy having sex with Chay. Love it, even. So that means I'm not asexual. Asexuals don't like sex.”
Lane hums, “That's not always true. Some like it a lot. But it means something different for them, or they aren't sexually attracted to their partner-”
“I am attracted to Chay,” Kim cuts in, “I am more attracted to him than I have ever been attracted to anyone.”
“I see,” Lane says, “But you mentioned it isn't about looks or sex when it comes to Chay, even though you appreciate both. It's about feeling closer to him because you want to strengthen that bond. Because you love him. That sounds more like a romantic attraction - a very deep romantic attraction. But it doesn't necessarily sound like a sexual attraction.”
Kim tilts his head, “...They’re the same thing.”
“Like I said, love and sex can be very different,” Lane says gently, “Which means the way romantic attraction and sexual attraction develop can differ as well.”
“...I like having sex with Chay,” Kim says after a beat, “I’m not lying about that.”
“I never said you were.”
“I really like it,” Kim reiterates, “Which means I'm not asexual.”
“Okay,” Lane says agreeably, “I'm not here to define you, Kim. I just brought it up as a possibility. How you define yourself is up to you. It's not up to anyone else, not even me.”
“Then why did you say it?”
Lane tilts her head, “Some things you said reminded me of asexuality. I was just curious if you looked into how large that spectrum is. There are asexual people who have no interest in sex and relationships, which also makes them aromantic. There are some who are indifferent to it, but open to having sex with a partner or maybe in spurts with a person of their choosing. There are those who love having sex with their partner - or with several partners. But that doesn't mean actual sexual attraction to someone is there for them.”
“...I am sexually attracted to Chay,” Kim says after he digests that, “He is able to get me…you know. And I wouldn't sleep with anyone else.”
“I understand,” Lane says, then shrugs her shoulders, “You just mentioned feeling like you experience those feelings quite differently from your peers, despite being in love with Chay. So I wondered if maybe sex-favorable asexuality would be something you’d want to look up. Or demisexuality. That's when you need to have a close bond or commitment with a person before feeling sexually attracted to them.”
That sounds like what Khun described. A lot of what Khun said resonated with him. Not all of it, but a lot of it. There were just a few things that didn't make sense to him, necessarily, but most of it did.
What Lane also said about the whole sex-favorable asexuality thing also makes sense, but some of it confuses him. He likes having sex. He really enjoys that connection with Chay. So is he neither of those things? Both?
He's annoyed now. The whole conversation is giving him homework, even though Lane isn't forcing him to look into it and just asking if he has. But now, he feels like he should. If he has brought it up to multiple people, then it's probably a question he wants an answer to.
Why does he need an answer? He's happy with Chay, and Chay seems happy with him. Why can't he just forget about searching for a potential label and be grateful that he's finally happy, at least for the most part?
He should yell at her for this, but he is the one who brought it up in the first place.
“Thank you for listening and talking with me,” he says instead, although he chooses to look at the corner of the room while the words come out of his mouth, “I will…possibly bring it up some other time. But I would rather talk about something else for now.”
Lane accepts that, but that might be because she is paid to talk with him about whatever he brings up.
During his walk back to the suite, he briefly toys with the idea of talking about the conversation with Chay. Maybe Chay will agree that Lane’s suggestion to research such a thing is pointless, since Kim clearly isn't that. Chay has turned Kim into a puddle with his fingers, tongue, and a couple of toys they keep stashed away in a safe due to Chay’s paranoia over people potentially finding them. But still, Chay is well aware of what he does to Kim.
However, the thought of it simply being brushed off as pointless leaves a pit in Kim’s stomach.
Before he can dwell on it much more, his train of thought stops when he opens the door and sees Chay, Namphueng, and Porsche on the couch. All of them are crying, clinging to each other tight, and haven’t registered his arrival at all.
…He’ll come back later.
The crying dies down. Eventually. Hia is still kind of a mess, despite being the one to stay strong and break through to her. As much as Chay has been waiting for this moment, the waiting caused more stress and hopelessness in Hia than it did in him.
But neither of them have to feel stressed about wondering whether or not she would ever remember them. She did remember them. She believes them.
She talked.
“I will make you both Pad Woon Sen,” Ma signs, her face still smudged with tears as she lets go of them and stands up, “You both liked that when you were little. I will make it right now.”
It isn't a meal Chay would usually think to have for breakfast, but he is fine with it. Going by Hia’s expression, he's okay with it too.
“Do you need any help?” Hia asks, “The three of us can make it together-”
“No,” Ma signs quickly, then takes a calming breath, “I want to make it for you. To apologize-”
“You don't have anything to be sorry for,” Chay says, shaking his head, “It's not your fault. It's Korn’s.”
Ma tenses up at the name. Chay can physically see her do so.
“I don't want to talk about him right now,” Ma signs, “He's evil. Talking about evil people this early is forbidden. I will go make breakfast.”
Hia sniffles, “You're sure-”
“Breakfast,” Ma reiterates before her eyes look slightly watery again, “Love you both. More than you know.”
When Chay hears Hia let out a soft sob beside him, Chay takes a hold of his hand before taking over.
“We love you too,” he tells her. It's something he means with his whole heart.
He gives Hia a minute after Ma heads into the kitchen, choosing to rub his back while he tries to gather himself. It gives Hia the time he obviously needs, and it gives Chay time to sort his thoughts as well.
Ma remembers them. After months of communicating but only having limited access to her memories from before, she remembers them.
And now that she has had a little time to sort through and recognize Korn’s f*cked up lies, she believes them. It's a lot. It's ultimately a good thing, but it's a lot. Remembering what else had happened is almost a relief, even though it's confusing. It also gives Chay a reason to break the silence.
“She talked, Hia,” he says quietly as soon as Hia settles down, “When I knocked on her door and she was just starting to spiral because she thought we were dead, she told me to get out. Out loud, with her voice. Then, screamed ‘get out’ at me when I didn't. She can talk.”
Hia pauses, “You're sure that's what she said? It wasn't just…I don't know, noise-”
“It was very clear.”
Hia mulls that over before clearing his throat, “Let’s…Let’s not push her on that right now. She should…I don't know, communicate in the way she feels the most comfortable, especially after remembering something like this. Remembering us. If she doesn't bring it up or voice again, we can bring it up later. After your trip-”
“I don't know if I should leave now,” Chay says honestly.
“...Talk to Kim about the trip,” Hia says, “It seems important to both of you. Check in with Ma too and see how she feels. But for today, we should just…enjoy breakfast. Spend time with Ma and let Ma spend time with her sons. Us.”
“Really? I thought her sons might be someone else.”
The comment earns him a light smack on the back of the head, but Hia follows up by kissing the top of it.
As concerned as Kim is about what he walked in on, a rambling text message from Chay explaining what exactly happened clears things up.
Kim: How is she doing now?
Chay: Much better. She's still emotional, but she is asking questions and keeps popping in from the kitchen to ask questions about our lives. And to tell us that she loves us. She has only signed though. She hasn't talked again.
Kim: Give her some time. From what Fern told us, TSL is her first language. It may be more comfortable for her to speak in after everything that happened to her. Her voicing this morning is a good sign.
Chay: I wonder what she never taught Hia. I can understand forgetting everything if she ever taught me, but Hia doesn't remember her signing.
Kim: Ask her. She remembers you and that period of her life now.
It only takes a few minutes for a response.
Chay: She claims that she DID teach us sign, and that we mainly used it when we were babies. She said Hia got really hyperactive and distracted when he turned four. It became hard to teach him a language he didn't really have a chance to use otherwise. She focused on encouraging his interests and teaching him what he would need to learn for school. She hoped she could redirect him back to sign language after getting him an ADHD diagnosis.
Chay: Now, they are arguing over whether or not Hia has ADHD.
Chay: Ma is mad that Uncle Arthee never took him to his evaluation for ADHD. She is also mad that Korn chose Arthee of all people to raise her sons. She thinks he did that because Arthee was unreliable and Korn didn't want to give him a job at the compound.
Kim: Why didn't he just not give him a job at all?
Chay: Uncle Arthee is apparently your Pa’s illegitimate second cousin? Your grandfather felt bad for him because Uncle Arthee’s father refused to claim or support him, forbade anyone to put his name on the birth certificate, and his mother killed herself??? What the f*ck, Kim? You MET him. You told him off. When he came over drunk and tried to get into the house, you told him off and took me to your place when he wouldn't leave.
Kim is very quick to respond.
Kim: Please believe me when I tell you that I was not aware of any relation between me and your fake uncle.
Kim: I'm really telling the truth. We have a LOT of illegitimate cousins. A few of the men in our extended family are serial adulterers. One of Pa’s cousins apparently has over twenty kids? I tried to do a family tree project once in school and it became overwhelming including the relatives I was aware of. I found out about a few cousins while I was doing that, but never your uncle.
Chay: Fine. I believe you. Mainly because Ma just said you guys have a lot of illegitimate cousins and barely know them.
This is one of the reasons Kim likes Namphueng so much. She defends him.
Chay: She is also telling me to get off my phone and socialize with the people at the table. She wants to eat dinner with Khun and Arm before they leave for their trip.
Chay: You and I should probably talk about ours as well.
Kim: We don't have to go. I will understand if we don't.
Chay: I want to, but I also don't want to leave her after what happened this morning.
Kim: We could always take her with us.
Chay: 🙁
Chay: Considering this is a sex-cation? No.
Chay: There isn't even another bedroom for her. Or even a separate room with a couch. We got this smaller, over the water place because it was going to just be the two of us.
Kim: I can cancel and try to book one of the larger beach houses.
Chay: But I want the small intimate place that has the pool and a waterslide leading into the ocean 😫
Chay: I will talk to her this evening and see how she feels. Follow her lead. But right now, she wants me off my phone.
Kim: Pay attention to your Ma. She deserves all of it. I’ll come by around lunch and make something for the three of you.
Chay: ❤️
“You feel free to call me, Nam!” Khun says tearfully as they stand near the terminal, “It doesn't matter what time it is, you understand? I will be available to talk! I promise!”
Namphueng stares up at Khun patiently, “Have fun on your trip with Arm.”
“But-”
“Have fun,” she signs again, then glances at the rest of the group before leading Khun farther away and turning her back to them.
“Do you have the ring?”
Khun glances over her shoulder suspiciously before focusing on her again before lowering his voice, “Yes. It's in my carry-on. I still don't exactly know how I am going to ask him, but I have it.”
Namphueng nods, “Good. Arm is perfect for you. Your ma would love him. I know it. She was a good woman, and a wonderful mother. Her only flaw was her taste in husbands.”
Khun lets out a tearful laugh at that, then swipes his eyes, “I wish she was here. You are wonderful. I feel so comfortable confiding in you, and you're one of my best friends. But-”
“Your ma should be here,” Namphueng signs agreeably, “...I remember visiting you in the infirmary when you were born. You were so adorable. I never saw your ma happier than she was when she held her boys. She was always kind to me. She always let me play with you and Kinn when you were young, and she was encouraging and protective of me when I decided I needed to leave due to learning what your grandfather…I loved her so much. I'm sorry you lost her. I wish she was here too.”
She really doesn't want to make Khun cry. Granted, it isn't a hard feat. She has been remembering so much more today, mainly memories from before her life was stolen from her. She remembers her babies, but she remembers Dao’s babies too, and how close she had been to Khun and Kinn when they were young. She left by the time Kim was born and only met him a couple of times when Dao brought him over to her house secretly, but she has a chance to be close to him now. She has gotten close to him. All of them. Vegas and Macau too. She sees them much more. She's surprised Porsche doesn't remember spending time with them, although it had been sporadically due the circ*mstances.
They had been in such unfair circ*mstances.
She supposes trauma plays a role in Porsche’s inability to remember certain things too. That issue became clear during breakfast, that Porsche hadn't or still doesn't remember things other people would likely remember.
They will work on remembering together. That is something she can do to keep herself from brutally murdering Korn as soon as they get back to the compound. She can't do that, not right now despite how much she wants to. Khun may resent his father and see him for who he is, but such an event would ruin his trip. Kim’s and Chay’s too, even though Kim seems more indifferent to his father's well-being.
“Have fun,” Namphueng signs, “Text pictures. I have an iPad now. Include one of Arm with that ring on his finger.”
Tankhun lets out a tearful laugh, “If he says yes-”
“He will,” Namphueng tells him, then gently leads Tankhun to his future husband. She waits with Kinn, Porsche, and Pol as they see them off.
Even though Porsche has been glued to her most of the day, he sits up front with Pol on the way back because he feels that Pol’s music tastes are inferior to his. Namphueng personally likes Pol’s music a little bit better, but she is glad they are interacting and bickering. Almost like brothers would. It makes her heart happy. She still fully plans on adopting Pol. She may have remembered her sons this morning and spent time catching up with them and loving them, but Pol will also be her son. Maybe Milan’s too. That will make it so they have five sons between them. The ultimate boy moms.
If she ever finds Milan.
Knowing in her heart that Milan suffered the same fate as she did hurts more than she can describe. It makes her want to kill Korn even more, but she can't do that until she finds her. There could be orders in place to kill her in the event of his demise. If she takes that step before finding her, it will only be because she has no other option or because she has exhausted all of them.
She needs to take her mind off it for now. To do that, she taps Kinn’s shoulder to get his attention.
“How did your mother die?”
Kinn pauses at the question before a flash of pain goes through his eyes. It makes Namphueng feel guilty. But at the same time, she needs to know. Dao would have been pretty young. Kim mentioned she died when he was eight, so Dao would have been around 39.
“Ma…” Kinn starts, choosing not to voice, “Cardiac arrest. I guess her heart suddenly stopped.”
“You guess?”
“She was staying at a beach house that belonged to her uncle,” Kinn says, “He died and she was the administrator of his will. She went down by herself without a guard. She didn't love always having a guard-”
“Same,” Namphueng signs, “But she was more of an introvert. She liked having time alone, except when it came to her sons.”
Kinn looks slightly teary at that, but responds, “She would have normally taken us, but she didn't want to take us out of school for the week. Khun had finals. I needed to study for exams too. Kim was constantly practicing for his piano recital. She went alone and she died alone. Pa…He sent people down after she didn't answer the phone for over a day and they found her there. Her body…The air conditioning was off. Pa said that made an impact on how…We didn't see her. She was cremated down there and her ashes were brought back for a service.”
Hearing what happened makes her want to kill Korn more. If she had died of cardiac arrest, she may have been able to be saved if guards were present. Even if she couldn't have been, she wouldn't have been left there to decompose. She can understand why Kim is suspicious of his father regarding his mother’s death. They haven't spoken much about it, but they have spoken enough. She remembers Kim saying his parents were having problems around that time. Kim probably wonders if Korn was behind her death. Maybe killing her was his way of making those problems stop.
But she isn't going to say all of that to Kinn. He's upset enough, and Kim’s theory or her own isn't something he needs to hear right now. All she does is reach over and take his hand for the rest of the ride while she thinks of a way she can defeat the man who has hurt so many of them.
This place is FANCY. Their old house wasn't like this! Prija is so excited!!!
“Now that Uncle Arm is gone, let’s explore! He won't catch on and come find us!” Tida whispers. It's early. If they leave the suite, Mama will get mad. But Prija doesn't care. Mama said she would love them and take care of them no matter what. She’ll do the same if they sneak out and explore super early in the morning.
“We can go down to the kitchen and see if they will give us breakfast!” Prija whispers as she gets out of her bed, “Let’s go now!”
“We gotta brush our teeth first!”
Prija doesn't see the point if they are going to eat breakfast and get food in them anyway. Why can't they brush after breakfast like they sometimes do?
“No!” Prija says, then crosses her arms defiantly. Tida drags her to the bathroom anyway. Prija only relents when Tida sticks the toothpaste covered toothbrush in her mouth. It's annoying and pointless if they are going to get food from the kitchen, but she will humor her sister.
“Let's go,” Prija says once they are finished. This time, Tida agrees.
They sneak to the elevator without being detected. It’s a little easier with Uncle Khun and Uncle Arm being on their trip, but Auntie Hansa, Auntie Nalin, and Auntie Preeda all live close by too. Auntie Preeda seems to always know when they are up to no good, just like Uncle Arm does. It's annoying. They have to be EXTRA careful. They are getting better about that. They make it to the elevator without anyone interrupting their plans.
“Maybe we should sneak food from the kitchen,” Tida whispers as they crouch down in the elevator, “Make sure no one sees us.”
Prija nods in agreement. They should avoid getting detected for as long as possible. As practice. If they hear Mama is scared and worried, they will come right back. But they are big girls now, and big girls explore.
So that's what they do! They sneak around and get food from the kitchen without anyone seeing. It's still REALLY early. The sun isn't even up yet, and Mama probably isn't either. So while they still have complete freedom, they find a sitting room, act like they are having a fancy lunch, and practice their secret language. They came up with it themselves a long time ago, but now they are trying to make it even bigger so they can talk about everything!
“Yom Rok Oglebay Belt-ka,” Tida suggests.
“Gear-Rum Magletoff Hom,” Prija responds. It really is a good idea, but Prija is only going to agree if they can both wear purple.
But before Tida can agree or suggest a compromise, they hear a man clearing his throat, causing them to turn their heads.
“I believe you have taken residence in my morning sitting room,” Korn says as he walks in to sit over on the couch with a cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in another, “Is your mother or one of your aunts around?”
Prija is hesitant to answer. Uncle Arm made it clear to stay away from Korn if they could help it. He told them not to be disrespectful, but to never trust him.
But he seems nice enough at the moment. He isn't going off and telling Mama. Prija supposes he can stay in their new tea party room for now.
But her opinion on him changes when he reaches for his phone in his pocket, “I will put out a notification and have a guard escort you back-”
“But we’re having fun!” Tida shouts, getting to her feet to stomp, “You're mean!”
Korn chuckles at that. Prija has a feeling Korn secretly enjoys being mean.
They will need to handle this differently.
“ Sech vae toon unta makay,” she tells her, causing Korn to pause. He's probably pretty smart. Prija can tell.
But he isn't as smart as them. When she glances over at the chess table by the window, she decides she is going to prove it.
“Come on!” She says, taking the paper away from him to pull on his hand, “We want to play chess with you!”
“It's our favorite!” Tida agrees, pushing at Korn's waist.
“For some reason, I feel like that isn't quite true,” Korn says, but seems okay with being moved towards the table, “However, if you would like me to teach you the basics, I would be happy to.”
Ugh. Grown-ups can be so annoying sometimes.
“Play,” Tida demands as she climbs up on the side with the black pawns. Prija joins her on the chair and waits. Korn eventually learns his place and sits on the other side.
“The pawns can move one or two squares forward for the first move, but can only move one square after that,” Korn says pointlessly, moving his center pawn two pieces. Prija holds back the desire to roll her eyes.
“He's really smart!” Prija says to Tida instead, then grins, “Maro tolas minco alloine.”
As Tida grins back, Prija knows they are on the same page. They make a couple of rookie moves at first - ones that likely surprise Korn. For some reason, he thought they couldn't actually play!
They’ll show him.
“Bast,” Prija tells Tida. Tida must feel the same on the next move since she picks up the knight and immediately takes Korn's bishop. Korn briefly looks stunned, but also seems to be more aware of what he may be dealing with. His moves become more calculating and aggressive after that.
Prija personally thinks he just comes off as silly.
“Kutch puck long,” Tida says, as if Prija doesn't know that already. Within three moves, Prija captures Korn’s queen and lets out a squeal! Tida does as well and they both get up to dance out their victory.
“We won!” Tida says, shimmying over to Korn in her bare feet, her nightgown swaying back and forth, “We’re good at chess, huh?”
“We beat you, so that means this is our sitting room now,” Prija says, dancing over to him as well, “You gotta say yes. It's the rules-”
“One more game,” Korn says, determination in his voice as he puts the pieces back in place. Prija glances at Tida at that point. She doesn't know why Korn wants to lose again.
“How did you do that? I demand to know,” Korn asks them, almost sounding accusatory. He sort of sounds like Mama when they get into her makeup and wash it off before she can prove they actually did anything wrong.
“You're really funny!” Tida says with delight. Prija bursts into giggles as well and they both come over to throw themselves over his lap and laugh into his knees.
Uncle Arm and everyone else said to be careful around Korn, but Prija isn't scared of him at all. He is going to be so much fun to mess with. Prija can't wait to beat him at every single game there is!
“Plya tarrondo goff,” Prija says to her twin. As Tida grins back, Prija knows Tida is happy they moved here too.
“I don't have to go,” Chay tells his mother gently, “Part of me feels like I shouldn't. You just remembered who we were and-”
“It's only a week,” Ma signs, “I want you to go have fun with Kim! Celebrate your accomplishments. I'm very proud of you.”
Chay blinks back tears and feels a lump in his throat, “I'm proud of you too.”
Ma rolls her eyes but has a smile on her face before she brings him closer and kisses his head. Then, she stands up to look down at him.
“I’ll be fine,” Ma signs, “I promise. Porsche and Kinn are staying in your room while you and Kim are gone. They don't need to. I won't be alone. I’ll have Phoenix and Koda. But I appreciate that they want me to feel safe and protected. It's also probably for the best to keep up appearances. Korn might take advantage if I had the whole suite to myself. He might start sending nurses again. I really don't like nurses.”
“I know,” Chay says, “We’ll always protect you, Ma. Always. Korn is never going to hurt you again.”
Ma doesn't say anything to that. Chay isn't sure if she quietly accepts it or if she is skeptical. Before he can ask, she moves on.
“Go on your trip,” she signs, “I want you to. Khun and Arm have only been gone two days and they seem like they are having a lot of fun. You and Kim deserve to have fun too. Relax. Do romantic things for him, okay? Promise.”
Chay glances down at his mother’s outstretched pinky finger for a moment and then links it with his own. She smiles encouragingly before letting go. It makes him feel better about the trip, but he still has one more nagging question on his mind.
“The other day…” Chay starts, “When you remembered me and Hia and I knocked on your door…you talked. You used your voice. I didn't…I wasn't sure-”
“I like signing better,” Ma signs quickly, “It's easier. Voicing is harder, and Korn doesn't hear me when I sign.”
“But you can speak?” Chay asks.
Ma shrugs her shoulders dismissively, “I do speak. With my hands. Accept.”
Chay lets out a sigh. He doesn't want to push it. He would love to know, but he doesn't want to force her to voice or put her on the spot. Besides, he appreciates knowing sign language now. It isn't all bad.
But she still talked.
“I accept,” Chay signs back, then gives her the ‘I love you’ sign. Ma signs it back, briefly touching her hand against his before going to her room. Chay follows suit before going to his own bedroom as well.
“She said she wants us to go,” Chay says to Kim, opening the closet door to pull out their suitcases, “Let’s pack.”
Kim raises his eyebrows, but stands up, “But do you still want to go?”
“Don't you?”
“Yes,” Kim says, “But I understand if you don't.”
Chay lets out a sigh and walks closer to him, “I’ll be worried about her and overthinking some things, but this trip may…calm me down. She seems like she is doing okay. Hia promised he wouldn't take on any meanings that conflict with Kinn’s so one of them will always be with her. They even promised to get her out as much as possible so she doesn't dwell on things. Arm’s sisters are here too, and they all love her and protect her. I think she will be fine.”
Kim nods, “I think so too. And if something happens, we’ll come back.”
“Will you rent us a private jet if the flights are all filled up, P’Kim?” Chay asks, closing the distance to put his arms around his shoulders as Kim pulls him in by the waist.
“Of course.”
Their packing gets delayed after that. Chay makes sure to stay quiet. His mother is still in the suite. He makes sure Kim stays quiet too, silencing every moan with filthy kisses once he has Kim pinned against the wall and they are stroking each other. This is something they have done plenty. They know exactly how to touch each other to make the other unravel.
Chay can't wait to do more with him. They have done so much and saved this one last step for this trip. Now that it's here, Chay thinks about it frequently. How it will go, if Kim will want it fast or slow.
Chay thinks he wants it to be sweet. Loving. Kim should know that he is loved, even if Kim isn’t ready to say it sober and Chay isn't quite ready to put those words out there until he is.
But he knows he feels it. It's why he knows he wants the first time to be sweet and intimate. Until he and Kim started this whole thing again, Chay has never really had that. A couple of his repeats occasionally tried to make it more loving, but that meant Chay had to connect with them. At the time, that was frustrating for Chay. He had affection for a couple of the repeats, Sand, Juneau, Kale. But he mainly felt affection for them because they didn't push. They were willing to be his friends outside of what they occasionally did that most friends didn't do. The others made him feel guilt.
Likely rightfully so.
But the thought of giving them anything else made him feel sick. It felt wrong.
It doesn’t feel wrong with Kim, despite their history. Maybe it's because of their history.
Kim is the only person he has ever loved. Chay wants him to be the only person he will ever love.
So when they get there tomorrow afternoon, they will enjoy the sun and beach, maybe go out to dinner or have it brought to them, and Chay will be more loving and sweet than he ever has been before, even more loving and sweet than he was when they first started feeling this out.
“What are you doing?” Kim asks as Chay drags him to the bed, “We still need to pack.”
“I wanna hold you,” Chay says, getting them both on the bed. Kim hesitantly obliges, but still has something to say about it.
“We need to pack.”
“Twenty minutes,” Chay says, holding him tighter, “We can talk about what we need to pack.”
Kim relaxes at that point, “I can pick out your clothes?”
“Why is that - of all things - your kink?” Chay asks, only to decide he doesn't want to know the answer. If that is something that makes Kim happy, then so be it, “I will let you pick out my clothes. As long as they are suitable for a beach vacation and relaxing. I’ll pick the same out for you. No leather jackets.”
“But-”
“I'm not tending to a heat stroke!” Chay says defiantly, then thinks on it, “I mean, I’ll stroke you to heat things up, but that's as far as I will go.”
Kim lets out a shocked snort at that, then turns in Chay’s arms, “That's as far as you want to go on this trip? Handjobs?”
Chay bites the inside of his cheek, “Of course not. You know what I want to do with you.”
“Hm.”
Chay thinks it sounds satisfied and accepting, but ‘hm’ is too short of a word to get a real feel for how Kim is feeling. Actually, when he thinks about it, ‘hm’ isn't a word at all. It's a sound.
Chay needs more.
“Do you still want to do the same?” Chay asks him. Kim nods, then snuggles closer.
“You're sure?” Chay asks.
Kim nods again, then lifts his head slightly to peer up at him, “Are you sure?”
“Of course I'm sure. I’ve been sure.”
“You weren't sure when I told you I wanted to the night you first said you wanted to do it.”
Chay sputters at that, “Because you had put conditions in place! As much as that sexually frustrated me initially, I was fine with it because I wanted to wait until you were ready, especially after…I wanted to make sure you were comfortable and definitely wanted to do something like that.”
“I told you I did.”
Chay reaches down and gently grabs Kim’s dick, “Only after your downstairs brain overpowered your upstairs one.”
Kim huffs but rolls on top of him to kiss down his chest, “Let’s just do it now.”
Chay runs his fingers through Kim’s hair, “We’re so close, Kim. No. You made a good point. A lot of stress is off of me now. I got into school. Your label accepted me. Other sh*t we couldn't foresee has been taken care of. Ma even remembers me and Hia now.”
“Exactly. So we can do it now.”
“While my mother is in the next room?”
Kim pauses at that and glances up at him with an annoyed pout. Chay grins down at him before gently guiding Kim back up until they are face to face.
“We are leaving tomorrow morning,” Chay says, “It will be just the two of us and we’ll have a place to ourselves-”
“The Maldives aren't exactly gay friendly,” Kim reminds him.
Chay lets out a sigh and rubs Kim’s back, “I looked it up. The resort islands are pretty welcoming. The tour guides will even give gay couples a head’s up about the local islands. We’ll be…chaste on the resort islands. If we go to any of the local islands, we’ll just act like bros.”
“Bros.”
“Bros,” Chay confirms, then grins, “It will be hard, keeping our hands to ourselves in public. It might make the sexual tension more and more intense until we’re able to relieve it as soon as we’re in private.”
Kim kisses him at that point. It's a kiss that Chay fully accepts, just like he accepts Kim's hand around his dick again.
“Is there anything you want to bring?” Kim asks, “From the safe?”
sh*t. The safe.
“What if Hia tries to get into it while he's staying here?” Chay says sitting up so quickly that Kim rolls off of him, “Or Kinn? What if Kinn looks?”
Kim just shrugs, “He already knows about the anal beads.”
“How?!”
“He walked in on us naked,” Kim says as Chay groans out his embarrassment, “I had to torture him somehow. Khun knows too.”
“Kim!!! He didn't do anything to us!”
“Kinn brought it up when we were drunk at Yok’s. I just said I liked them,” Kim says, only to (finally) look slightly guilty, “Sorry.”
Chay takes a calming breath, “So I take it Vegas and Macau know too?”
“Maybe. If they remember. I wouldn't be surprised if Vegas doesn't. He's more of a lightweight than Khun is.”
“You were ALL lightweights that night.”
“Whose fault is that? We drank a punch bowl co*cktail you designed.”
…That's fair.
“Fine,” Chay says, “But no more talking about our sex toys.”
“Whatever,” Kim mumbles, as if this being a banned topic bothers him. What the f*ck? He doesn't even like to talk.
“We probably shouldn't take the anal beads anyway,” Chay continues, “You can't really disguise that toy as anything else. If we get pulled aside by airport security, it would be embarrassing.”
Going by Kim’s expression, the fact they can't take the anal bead toy also bothers him. He should stop being bothered. He can have Chay’s dick inside him as much as he wants.
“We can take the co*ck rings,” Chay says as a compromise, “We haven't used those yet. And after we have sex a couple of times, we may want to…drag it out. Make it last. Try multiple positions.”
Chay can't help but smirk when he sees a slight blush rise to Kim’s cheeks. Chay opens the safe, removes the co*ck rings from the packaging, and slips them in his bag.
“We’ll put them in the checked bag,” Chay says, “Whatever tiny battery those use shouldn't set it off that way.”
On top of that, he grabs a few condoms. It's just a three pack and two flavored ones he got from Blue’s store, but Chay figures they can get more when they get there. There hasn't really been a need for them. Chay likes swallowing. Kim seems to as well. They never needed them for anal because they aren't doing that until tomorrow evening.
He can't wait.
Actually, yes. He can wait. He is going to wait because waiting will make it perfect for not only Kim but also for himself and -
“You are going to pack more than just sex stuff. Right?”
“I’ll get to it,” Chay says dismissively, but then glances over at Kim, “Text Kinn. Tell him to keep Hia away from the safe.”
“Why? We can lock it.”
“He might ask questions about it, questions I can't answer!” Chay says, “Those anal beads are illegal, Kim-”
“Don't care. They feel good.”
Chay rolls his eyes, “Just text him, okay? He already knows about them because YOU already told him. If he hasn't told Hia by now, then I suppose it is safe to tell Kinn to distract Hia from the safe should he see it.”
Kim stares at him for a moment, then grabs his phone, “You're weird.”
“You're weird for telling your entire family about the beads in the first place!”
“I didn't tell my entire family,” Kim counters, “You heard your ma talk about how many cousins I have. I only told my brothers and my paternal first cousins. That's it. I haven't told Pa yet-”
“YET?!”
Kim pauses for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, “I wasn't planning to. Obviously. But the thought of him finding them does sort of make me want to laugh.”
“Of course it does,” Chay says, only to imagine Korn walking in on him using them on Kim. It definitely isn't a hot fantasy whatsoever, but Chay feels a sick satisfaction over Korn seeing him defile his youngest son. He might just keep f*cking Kim with them while he looks Korn straight in the eye.
…That was a particularly f*cked up thought, more f*cked up than Kim simply thinking of Korn finding the anal beads. If anyone knew it passed through his brain, they would be scandalized. He needs to stop.
“Text your brother,” Chay says, crossing his arms. Kim does, and while Chay feels a little weird about it, he feels even weirder when his own phone vibrates on his bedside table.
“You didn't.”
“You’re the one who wanted me to text him,” Kim says, sounding like he is probably defensive but trying to hide it, “The least you can do is be a part of the conversation.”
“Kim! What did you say?” Chay groans, stomping over to the bedside table to pick up his phone.
Kim: Stay out of our safe in the closet while you and Porsche are staying in our room. Sex toys are in there. Porsche can't know.
“You could have just said private documents and sentimental belongings,” Chay says, then presses his forehead against his hand until his phone vibrates again.
Kinn: You really didn't need to tell me what was in there. I had no plans to go through your things, especially being told about those beads. Multiple times.
Kim: I brought them up ONCE. You and Khun brought them up after and I just told you that they are a 10/10. I can't help it that you secretly want a toy like that too. Go talk to Blue to satisfy your curiosities, but stay away from our stuff.
Kinn: 🙄 Put them in a safe in one of the empty suites if you are so concerned.
Kim looks up at that, “That's actually a pretty good idea. I know how to reset the code.”
Chay: Thanks for the good idea, Kinn! 🙂
Kinn: 🖕🏻 to both of you.
As Chay puts his phone down, he can't help but feel relieved that the likelihood of traumatizing Hia is now not very likely at all.
Tankhun had planned a private laser show on the beach!
“We can still watch the laser show,” Arm says, sounding like he is incredibly nervous, “I don't see why we wouldn't. I didn't realize you planned something like that. I just…This morning, you said you wanted tonight to be low-key. I didn't realize you planned a surprise of some sort. So I planned this because…because I love you. I never thought falling in love was in the cards for me. I just didn't. But I have had feelings for you for years, and they have only grown stronger since we got together and…was this not good enough? I had them decorate a secluded bridge over a koi pond with your favorite flowers and tea lights. There is a string quartet playing the song we first slow danced to. Did I do something wrong?”
“Yes!” Tankhun says accusingly, putting his hands on his hips. Arm’s expression immediately looks crestfallen and Tankhun would normally feel TERRIBLE for making Arm feel that way, even for a second.
But Arm beat him. He came up with this beautiful proposal with just the right amount of romanticism and intimacy. Even if Tankhun still had the opportunity to one up this, he wouldn't be able to. The laser show was supposed to be private and fun. Tankhun was going to play dumb and act like it was a surprise for him too. Songs that had meaning to them were to play before the daunting question spelled itself out across the sky. It had been incredibly expensive to come up with and make happen within forty-eight hours, and it isn’t even going to happen.
“You…” Tankhun tries to explain, then lets out a groan, pulls the box out of his pocket, and waves it in the air, “You ruined MY proposal! It is scheduled for midnight. That is just in twenty minutes, and you beat me! Do you know how long I have been carrying this ring? Almost nine months! You could have developed a healthy baby in your womb during that time, and don't say that isn't possible! You’ve ruined my proposal with your perfect one, so you get to be knocked up with our child in this scenario and not point out the flaws in my logic! I want a girl! Accept!”
When Tankhun finally calms down enough to take in his boyfriend's demeanor once more, he sees that he's holding back a laugh. He thinks this catastrophe is funny.
“Arm!” Tankhun says, stomping his foot once, “Stop.”
“I'm sorry,” Arm says quickly, then steps closer, “If I had realized you were going to propose to me, I would have just let you do the honors. It was very daunting and stressful to plan this out.”
“And you think I didn't have the same experience?” Tankhun asks, “You should have given me a head's up! I would have cast my plans aside and geared myself up for such a beautiful moment!”
“You’re the one who should have given me a head’s up!” Arm says defiantly, “You’ve had a ring for longer. I only got this one right after Kim moved back into the compound.”
Tankhun looks at Arm sullenly, “You have only wanted to marry me half the time I’ve wanted to marry you?”
Arm lets out a groan and steps closer, “Of course not. I was fooling around with different designs for months. I wanted something that would represent your taste and personality. I was looking at different shops online, visiting stores during my free time, and making calls. I finally decided on an online store when I looked into customer reviews, but even then, I spent a long time trying to figure out what would work for you! You can be picky, Khun! And I wanted to get something you would love but would still compliment mine if I designed one for myself because I want everyone to know we belonged to each other. I know I said I didn't mind that your family didn't know back when we were keeping this a secret from them, and that was mostly true. Your reasons for keeping it from them for so long were valid. But I knew that I would face them - or even approach them alone - if you said yes. I love you, Khun. I love how smart and charismatic you are, how devoted you are to your brothers. You love my sisters and nieces like they're your blood, and I love that about you too. I love how you treat your fish like they're your children and how creative you are in so many different ways. I especially love how strange, dramatic, and demanding you can be-”
“I have never been strange, dramatic, or demanding!” Tankhun says shrilly, only for Arm to take his face in his hands.
“You are. And if you suddenly stopped being that way, I would hate it. I love everything about you and want to marry you because you're it for me.”
Arm lets his hands drop at that point and Tankhun lets the words sink in. While he is still slightly frustrated his proposal plan was derailed by Arm’s proposal plans, that was a beautiful declaration of love. A bit of a ramble at times, but Arm is more introverted than he is and was never on the debate team like Tankhun was. And even though Tankhun has the skills to make a beautiful speech, he supposes he would also be flustered if the situation was reversed.
The situation could have easily been reversed if Arm had just waited a little longer. But Tankhun does appreciate the effort he has put into this.
“Let me see the ring,” Tankhun says, then realizes that sounds slightly demanding and is proving Arm right, “Would you please show me the ring?”
“You don't have to ask. I was going to show you when I got down on one knee and you interrupted me.”
“You took me by surprise!” Tankhun says, then lets out a sigh and pushes the box back towards Arm, “I'm sorry I ruined your proposal. But to be fair, you ruined mine first. Take two!”
Arm stares at him in bewilderment, “Huh?”
“It means try again. Sheesh, Arm! Don't you watch any of the behind the scenes clips I send you for the dramas we binge?” Tankhun says, then pushes on Arm’s shoulders, “Go on. Get on one knee. I’ll be quiet this time, I promise!”
“You promise?” Arm asks cautiously but slowly starts to lower himself to the floor of the bridge. Once he is fully in position, Tankhun nods in approval and Arm takes it as a signal to go ahead.
“Tankhun,” Arm starts as he looks up at him, “I’ve cared for you since the first day I met you and loved you since that day my biological father he unexpectedly visited the compound to bug me about money and you punched him so hard that he fell in the pool-”
“That was five years ago!” Tankhun cuts in with surprise, but then lets out a laugh, “That was really funny! I punched him in front of all the guards! Even Chan laughed and…Sorry. I interrupted. Continue.”
Arm smiles a little, then pulls the box out again, “I’ve loved you a little more and more each day - both the good ones and bad. I didn't think it was possible to love someone more, but when you made your feelings known too, I felt emotions I had never experienced. They were terrifying, exhilarating, and a comfort, and I will cherish you and what I feel for you every single day for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”
When Arm shows him the ring, it's beautiful. It's a rose gold band with a larger inlay made up of a dark green gemstone, and a smaller inlay underneath that is white. It will stand out, but still be sleek and subtle, just like Arm’s is.
In fact - other than the inlay colors - it looks a LOT like the one Tankhun made him.
“Did you order that from this site?” Tankhun asks, pulling out his phone to look up the site in question.
Arm leans in to look at it, “How did you know?”
“I had to pay so much in shipping costs just to get them to do yours!” Tankhun says with a stomp, “I can't believe they profited so much from our love!”
“Malai helped me out with it. She has embassy connections from her old job and access to an address they would freely ship to,” Arm says, “I didn't have to pay for the ridiculous fee they were asking for that way.”
“Ugh, I should have asked around!” Tankhun says, “I thought about it, but I didn't want word to get back to Pa and-”
“Tankhun, you still haven't answered.”
Tankhun gives him an exasperated look, “Well, of course it's a yes. I literally planned a proposal. You thought there was a chance of me saying no? You're so silly, Arm. You know, for someone so smart, you can be unsure of the undying and unconditional love myself and others have for you and-”
Before Tankhun can finish, Arm is back on his feet, slipping the ring onto Tankhun's left ring finger, and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Tankhun fully returns it as he wraps his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders and pulls him closer.
His fiancé’s shoulders. Because that is what Arm is now. His fiancé.
“So you talked to Malai about this and she didn't tell me even though we are going to be lawyers together,” Tankhun says with a sigh, “Did you tell the rest of your sisters?”
“Just Hansa,” Arm says, still holding him close, “I figured Nalin and Preeda would bombarde me with different suggestions on how to ask you, which would just overwhelm me more. But other than Malai and Hansa, I told Pol.”
Tankhun feels a jolt of annoyance, “I told Pol! I can't believe he knew we would have conflicting plans to propose to each other and he just let it happen!”
“To be fair, he risked pissing both of us off if he would have said anything.”
…That's true.
“Did you ask Pa or Kinn for their permission?” Tankhun asks.
Arm shakes his head, “It's your decision. Not theirs. I don't think either of us need their permission for this. We are our own people.”
Tankhun grins at that, brings him in for another kiss, then cups his face, “I only told Pol and Nam at first, but I ended up telling Kim and Kinn on weed brownie night. Everyone approves.”
“Even Kinn?”
“He was much more supportive than I thought he would be,” Tankhun says, “Granted, that brownie hit him hard. He was concerned about having cancer. He thought there was a freckle on his nail bed, so I suppose his impending doom made him prioritize his concerns. It turned out to be speck from a marker when your nieces begged him to color with them. All of that worrying for nothing! But the few people who do know have been very supportive.”
“Good,” Arm murmurs, “I'm glad.”
“Me too,” Tankhun says gently, then kisses him once more. He could stay in this moment forever.
Except…
“The laser show will start any minute!” Tankhun says with a shout as he breaks off the kiss, then presses his finger against Arm’s chest, “This didn't happen. This proposal can re-enter your mind after I propose to you, but for now? You have to pretend to be surprised. Okay?”
Arm bites back a smile, “Ah. Of course. So you said there was a good view of the beach over this way?”
Tankhun preens under Arm’s willingness to play along, “I did! I can't wait to show you. I just thought of it a few minutes ago, but it's a new moon tonight. The sky should be dark and the stars will be easier to see. Oh, look! A string quartet! I wonder why they're here?”
And while he hears Arm break character by laughing at the remark, Tankhun lets it slide. As soon as they are on the blanket and the laser show starts, complete with songs and impressive graphics, Arm is sucked in. And despite having a general idea of what the show is made up of, Tankhun finds himself sucked in as well. When the words, “Will you marry me?” are made up with a group of lit up drones, Tankhun lets out a sound of delight before sitting up.
“Look at that!” Tankhun says, pointing at the sky, “I wonder who that is for?”
“I wonder,” Arm says. When Tankhun glances down at him, he is taken aback when he sees tears glistening in Arm’s eyes.
“Are you crying?” Tankhun asks, then glances up at the sky, “Is it that bad? I went with both privacy and technology, which are both things you like-”
“I loved it,” Arm says, his voice gruff, then quickly wipes his eyes, “And I'm not crying.”
“Lies!” Tankhun declares, then claps his hands, “I moved you that much! So? Does that mean yes? Or are you not sure?”
Arm squints at that, “Why do you think I wouldn't be sure? I just proposed to you less than ten minutes ago-”
“Shhh!” Tankhun says, hushing him, “Remember our agreement. That particular memory is wiped from our minds until my proposal has passed and we can make both proposal stories fun and sweet anecdotes to tell our seven daughters later.”
“Seven?”
Tankhun huffs, “I was robbed of sisters, Arm! There are plenty of reasons I call Kimberly by what should have been his name. I would have been a wonderful older brother to girls and I got younger brothers instead! I was cheated!"
“I am sure Kinn and Kim are both very grateful that things worked out the way they did.”
“They better be,” Tankhun says, “So what do you say? Seven daughters? I was thinking one who is biologically yours, one who is biologically mine, one who is a surprise, and four adopted.”
“...I am not opposed to having all girls.”
“I didn't think you would be,” Tankhun says, “It suits you, being outnumbered by your sisters and nieces. Let's add onto the count-”
“But I think we should only have two.”
“Six.”
“Three?”
“Five!”
“Four,” Arm says with a pointed finality. And even though four is technically closer to Arm’s original number than Tankhun's original number, he will accept it for now. There could always be a surprise twin or triplet that will pop up in their future surrogate’s pregnancy, or a group of several sisters who deserve to have the same home with two loving parents, or-
“Can we focus on the engagement and wedding planning before we have babies?” Arm asks, “We can look into egg donors or adoption websites as soon as we get back from the honeymoon, but-”
“You need to say yes first.”
“Hm?”
Tankhun sighs, “You got on me about not giving you a clear answer to your proposal to me, but now you are delaying giving an answer to my proposal! It's rude, Arm! Not to mention hypocritical. We can only be engaged if you say yes.”
“Even though you said yes to me already?”
Tankhun raises an eyebrow, “You really need to learn how to roleplay. We shall add it to our sex lives and practice in the bedroom.”
Arm sputters at that and while Tankhun genuinely enjoys making him this flustered, he wants a real answer.
“Do you need to see the ring before you say yes or no?” Tankhun asks, pulling out the box again. It's only when he flips it open that he realizes how dark it is.
“I don't need to be able to see the ring to tell you yes,” Arm tells him.
“Fine, but hold onto your answer until you see it!” Tankhun says dismissively, “I worked really hard at designing it and I'm proud of it! I think you will really like it!”
As Tankhun turns on the flashlight from his phone, Arm looks down at the ring and his smile gets wider.
“It's a very nice ring. I love it.”
“Good,” Tankhun says with a nod, then takes it out of the box and has it ready between his fingers, “You can give me your answer now.”
Arm holds his left hand out and lets Tankhun hold it, “Yes. I will marry you.”
Tankhun finds himself smiling ear to ear. And maybe - just maybe - there are tears in his eyes too.
On the morning of their departure, Kim wakes up to a simple text from his oldest brother and a picture of two hands donning distinct rings, one hand placed on top of the other.
Khun: He beat me to it by twenty minutes 🙃😂❤️
Kinn: Huh? Beat you to what?
Khun: Ugh. Proposing, Kinn! Arm proposed last night! It was so beautiful! I was so mad!
Kim: Arm proposed? Why wouldn't he tell me?
Kinn: Why wouldn't he tell me?
Kim: He had no reason to tell you. You're not his roommate. I am.
Kinn: How the f*ck are you his roommate?
Khun: I regret texting either of you!!!! I wanted to share this huge moment with you before making a bigger announcement and you are just annoyed! I don't need the negativity!!! 😡
Kim: I'm sorry. We just didn't expect him to be planning a proposal too. Right, Kinn?
Kinn: The standard has been to ask the head before proposing to any immediate family members. Arm broke that tradition, so I definitely didn't expect it.
Khun: I love that he broke it. So rebellious and sexy of him! 😍
Kinn: Fine. I'm glad that you're happy. And I approve of Arm. He made the proposal meaningful and pulled it off well?
Tankhun: Of course he did! He’s so competent. I think I have a competence kink, along with a glasses kink 🤤
Kinn: K.
Khun: I spent so much on his proposal though! It was scheduled and too late to cancel, so I made him forget that he asked me for a little bit and pretend like he was surprised by the laser show I set up. He said yes to my proposal too! I couldn't believe it!!!! 😭
Kim: But he just asked you right before. You still thought he might say no?
Khun: I was nervous!
Kinn: How are you going to tell Pa?
Khun: 🤷 Arm and I will tell him after we get back. We’re focusing on our vacation, engagement, and wedding talk now 😍
Khun: But speaking of, how is Pa?
Kinn: Strangely preoccupied. Between business stuff and spending time with the twins, I haven't seen much of him.
Khun: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I TOLD MALAI TO NOT LET THEM AROUND HIM!!!
Kinn: sh*t, Khun. They're three. He isn't going to hurt them. They’re the ones seeking him out.
Kim: I don't get why they want to, but the fact that they are just to continue beating him at chess is funny to me.
Khun: 🙄 Those little show-offs. I’ll FaceTime Malai in a bit so I can give a stern talking to them.
Kinn: How are they beating Pa at chess??? It's two against one, but he was a grandmaster at one point. And they're three.
Khun: Everyone in Arm’s chosen family is some form of genius, regardless of blood relation. That's just how it works, and it's one of the reasons I chose him as my future husband. Our seven daughters will be so intelligent. 😁
Khun: no more than four
Khun: Sorry, Arm took my phone. He wants my undivided attention now that he's fully awake. 😏 Bye! Send you vacation pics of me and my fiancé later!!! 🧑🤝🧑💑🤵🤵💜🖤💚💙
“Who are you texting?” Chay murmurs sleepily, turning over to rest his head on Kim’s chest.
“Khun texted me and Kinn,” Kim says, putting his phone back down, “He and Arm are engaged.”
When Kim glances down, he can see Chay smiling at that.
“I’m happy for them,” Chay says, “Hia might be insufferable though.”
“They are his number one ship,” Kim agrees.
“That's probably all he’ll talk about when he takes us to the airport,” Chay says, then sits up, “I'm going to shower. Hia mentioned taking us out to breakfast before our flight if we get ready in time, so you're free to join.”
“Only if it will be faster,” Kim yawns. He does not take the light smack against his shoulder personally.
Porsche should have expected this. Arm and Khun getting engaged on their two year anniversary trip after sneaking around for so long just makes sense. Porsche can't wait for the wedding. He has never planned a wedding, but he thinks he should offer his help. That would be a lot of fun, even if it means regularly talking Khun down from being a groomzilla.
But first, he should probably figure out where Kinn's head is at.
“Are you crying from happiness over your brother being engaged to the love of his life, over stress about the engagement, or over anxiety about your appointment with Lane this afternoon?” Porsche asks from the bed when he catches Kinn staring out the window and wiping at his eyes.
“I'm not crying.”
“Okay.”
“I'm not,” Kinn says, then turns his head to look at him as if he's trying to prove a point. It sort of just proves Porsche’s point, but he doesn't say that much. Instead, he gets up and stands next to Kinn at the window.
“Ma and I can take Chay and Kim to the airport,” Porsche tells him, “Why don't you try and relax? Go to the spa, maybe? Get a massage, spend some time in the sauna or onsen. Maybe get a facial or a mani-pedi! I know you do those with Khun. I don't see why you act like you don't. Do you not do them with me so you can preserve the magic? Create a fantasy of you having perfect nails and skin naturally?”
Kinn rolls his eyes but says nothing. Porsche is probably right then.
“We should throw him and Arm a party after they're back,” Porsche says, changing the subject, “After Chay and Kim are back too, obviously. We’ll hold a secret meeting and not invite Khun or Arm, plan it out, and make it a surprise. I think they would like a surprise congratulations party.”
Kinn breathes in, but nods his head, “Okay. We can do that.”
“And you’ll relax before your appointment?” Porsche asks, bringing Kinn a little closer, “You just learned some pretty big news. It's good news, but it probably feels faster to you than it does to them, which can understandably make you feel worried. On top of that, it's been an emotional time for everyone these last few months, but you have had some particular things come up that have been hard and now you are ready to face the emotions stemming from that. So do not feel guilty if you stay back take some time for yourself, and try to mentally prepare for your appointment-”
“I think I should cancel.”
“Don't cancel,” Porsche murmurs, “Be a good influence! I have been talking about needing therapy for longer than you have, and you took that step before I did. I need a testimony from you so I can feel better about scheduling something for myself. You don't have to hit the hardest topics today, but try to talk to her. Even if the conversation is about things that aren't really bothering you, talking to her is a step in the right direction.”
“Hm.”
“Hm,” Porsche mimics, then kisses Kinn’s cheek, “Love you. I'm proud of you too. Things are going well, Kinn. Better than they have been for a while. We all just have some catch-up work to do.”
Although, Korn is still an issue. For as long as he is alive or at least has power, he always will be. Porsche wonders if that is something Kinn now distinctly knows too.
“Go to the spa,” Porsche tells him again, “I'm going to get ready to take Kim and Chay out for breakfast and to the airport. I just need to shower, but-”
“You're saying I can’t shower with you?”
Porsche scoffs at that, “I never said such a thing. That's why you are still being angsty? Over the thought of not being able to see my hot body nice, soapy, and wet under the shower stream? Come on, then. We’ll shower together, and then we’ll meet Kim and Chay at the front so you can hug them goodbye before we go out separate ways. I should be back during your appointment, so my whole focus will be on you after.”
“...Okay.”
It's a plan Kinn sticks with. Although, he predictably gets handy in the shower.
Not that Porsche minds.
By the time they are dressed to meet Chay, Kim, and Ma out front, Kinn is giving their younger brothers both hugs to say goodbye.
“You're not riding along?” Kim asks, but returns the hug.
“I have an appointment,” Kinn says vaguely, “I would probably be cutting it close. Enjoy your trip.”
While Kim agrees to do that, he surprisingly gives Kinn one more hug. Kim can get strange about hugs unless they are coming from Khun, Chay, or Ma. Maybe it's the therapy. Maybe it’s just knowing he's loved and that making an impact on how he expresses his own love for others.
“See you in a bit,” Porsche tells him, gently squeezing Kinn’s arm before he gets in the car. Chay, Kim, and Ma follow suit.
“He won't tell me what he talked about with Lane,” Kim mutters, his eyes on his phone as they wait for the boat.
“Did you want to talk about your appointments with people when you first started therapy?” Chay asks, “Even now, you barely tell me what you talk about.”
“That's different.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Lane won't even tell me,” Kim says, showing Chay his phone, “She was my therapist first, and she won't give me a hint.”
As Chay looks down, he can't help but laugh at the exchange.
Kim: What did you and Kinn talk about? Is he doing okay?
Lane: Enjoy your trip! See you when you get back!
Kim: I asked you a question.
Lane: If you want to speak with me during your vacation, we can schedule a virtual appointment. But our session will not be about your brother’s treatment. I’m thinking the topic should be ✨boundaries✨
Kim: No.
Lane: Then enjoy your trip! See you when you get back!
“I think she has made her stance clear,” Chay says, giving Kim back his phone as the boat docks, “What are we going to do first?”
Kim shrugs, “Settle in, I guess. We did pick one of the calmer islands."
Despite Kim making a suggestion without hesitation, he still looks slightly nervous. To be honest with himself, Chay is a little nervous too. For one, this is Kim. Out of all the men he has had sex with, none of them ever compared to Kim - even the ones he genuinely found attractive. Also, this step is one they have been putting off. Kim may have played it off as a power move, one that would motivate Chay into going through the college acceptance process. But Chay feels like Kim had his own reasons too. He has gotten so much better in terms of mental health. If he didn't still occasionally have rough days where he isolates, Chay would say he's completely better. But Kim hit rock bottom and was sexually assaulted. It may not have gone as far as it could have, but he was drugged and stripped of his clothes. The man who had done it was naked, had a condom on, and his hand guiding his dick towards the destination when Chay ripped him off of Kim and practically beat him to death. Even though Kim doesn't remember much, that has to be on his mind more than he lets on, regardless of any experience prior to that.
Occasionally, Chay gets curious and wants to ask Kim about prior hookups or relationships. He is so lusted after. But Chay would then feel pressured to share his own experience. Kim already knows a little, considering he was behind that PointlessCook Instagram and saw the impulsive and wreckless stories Chay used to post. They have only gotten close to talking about that period in his life a few times, but Kim never talks about how it made him feel.
Going by the fact he became suicidal and lost more weight than he ever should have, Chay can imagine he didn't feel great about it, regardless of whatever else was going on in Kim’s life and brain.
“Did you bring your meds?” Chay asks suddenly.
Kim gives him a confused look, but nods his head, “Yeah. Why?”
“You have one pill you are supposed to take with lunch,” Chay says, which is a good enough excuse to check in, “Maybe we can get lunch at one of the restaurants in the main resort, walk over to our overwater villa-”
“It isn't really a villa.”
“And enjoy our private pool and waterslide,” Chay finishes, “We’ll have a relaxing day. No pressure for either of us.”
“Are you feeling some pressure?” Kim asks.
“No,” Chay says, only a half lie, “But I just want to make sure…things feel right. For the both of us. So that's what we should do. Things that feel right.”
Kim nods and looks out at the sea again, which causes Chay to stop talking. It's probably for the best. He was starting to ramble. Now, Kim can enjoy the view and Chay can enjoy the view of him.
Waterslides give Chay the energy of a child. Kim has never seen more of a resemblance in Chay to Porsche than he does right now.
“Try it!” Chay exclaims, practically running up the ladder, “It's fun! Use the snorkeling stuff too, and let me know if you see any sharks!”
“You have probably scared all of the marine life away by shooting off the slide the way you have,” Kim tells him.
“P’Kim. Try it.”
Kim sighs, but gets of the pool and grabs the other snorkeling set, “You want me to put this on?”
Chay nods once, then comes over to help him adjust the strap, “There. It fits perfectly. You look so sexy.”
“I'm sure,” Kim says with a scoff, only for Chay to gently push him towards the slide, “You really want me to do this, huh?”
“You paid for this feature. You have to experience it,” Chay tells him, “It's so much fun.”
And because Kim finds it extremely hard to deny Chay anything, he goes on the slide. While he had seen it shoot Chay out and drop him into the ocean, Kim had underestimated how intense the drop would be.
However, he can admit that it's very fun.
“Did you love it?!” Chay shouts from the deck as soon as Kim comes to the surface. Kim doesn't verbally give him a response, but Chay probably knows the answer when Kim goes on the slide three more times before they snorkel together in the ocean for a while.
Kim feels like a kid. A carefree kid. Even when he was a kid, he hadn't been carefree, not after Ma died. But before she had, she used to bring them to different beaches a lot. Mainly in phu*ket, but sometimes they would go on island family vacations. Kim remembered how much energy Ma had. She would swim with him for hours, build sand castles, and search for shells.
He really misses her. It made no sense for her heart to give out when she was as young as she was, especially when she had been even younger in energy and mind.
“You good?” Chay asks, swimming up to him, “You're just floating.”
“Sorry,” Kim says, “Just got stuck in my head.”
Chay briefly puts his arms around him, only to put his arms down, “I was wanting to hug you, but I read we could face up to eight years in prison and receive up to one hundred lashes.”
“I'm pretty sure that's for more extreme offenses than hugging.”
“It wasn’t clear.”
Kim lets out a sigh and holds Chay’s hand under the water, “We’re at a resort island. They take international approaches. As long as we aren't flaunting our relationship in public, we won't have issues. But we should probably make sure anything physical we do happens inside the villa only.”
“Even hugging?”
Kim rolls his eyes and pulls Chay in for a hug. While Chay seems nervous, he returns it.
“We should probably have dinner in a couple of hours,” Kim says, letting go, “Do you want to go to one of the stores and get stuff to make dinner, go out to eat, or have the resort staff deliver something?”
“Mmm…Deliver it,” Chay decides, “I want to swim more.”
“Okay,” Kim says, “I’ll swim with you a little more, then go shower and put an order in.”
Chay pouts at that, “You aren't going to stay in much longer?”
And while Kim can get into the ins and outs of prepping when it comes to everything anal, he figures Chay knows. In fact, Chay cleaned him there right before the first time he rimmed him. He knows Chay knows. He could probably just say it.
But that might make tonight slightly less appealing. There have been no mishaps as of yet, and talk about prep has been minimal. Chay just lets him do what he needs to do. Kim isn't going to bring it up before what they plan on doing tonight.
“I’m getting in the shower,” Kim says with more finality, “Can you stay in the pool until I get out and can sit out here with you? It will make me less nervous than leaving you unsupervised in the ocean by yourself.”
“I can swim.”
“Humor me.”
Chay rolls his eyes but does just that.
Dinner is abnormally quiet. Kim picks at his food, and Chay has some idea why. It's later. The sun is setting and Chay’s hair is half dry from the shower he finished minutes before the food arrived. Now that it feels more real, there is an interesting tension in the air. Chay wonders if their slow progression at finishing their meals is to avoid what happens next or to drag the tension out.
It might be a little bit of both. And while Chay can handle that confliction within himself, he doesn't know how he feels about Kim facing the same problem. Coming to a conclusion, he puts his fork down.
“I'm kind of full now,” Chay says, pushing his plate away, “Do you still want to do what we planned or do you want to wait?”
Kim pushes his own plate away, “Why are you asking? Do you not want to?”
“I want to,” Chay says, “We just…I don't know, both of us got kind of quiet. I am assuming I'm not the only one who is nervous here?”
Kim shrugs, “I don't know. What do you have to be nervous about?”
“Making sure this all goes well? Making sure this feels as good for you as it will for me?” Chay says. It really should be obvious.
“I'm sure it will feel good. Everything we have done has felt great so far.”
Chay nods, “I think it will feel good too. But you’ll tell me if it doesn't? You’ll tell me if you need me to slow down, pull out, or stop altogether?”
Kim looks away, “...Sure. And you’ll do the same?”
“Well…” Chay starts, “I don't know if I will tell you to pull out. Not unless you are changing your mind on how we are doing this. Pull off, maybe, but pulling out would sound strange if it came out of my mouth-”
“You know what I meant,” Kim says, meeting his eyes once more.
Chay holds back a grin, “You’re right. I did.”
Kim rolls his eyes, but stands up without another word to stand over Chay. Chay looks up at him, hugs him around his waist, then reaches up to lead Kim’s face downwards to pull him in for a kiss. Kim lets his lips part and the kiss - while soft and hesitant at first - grows deeper as they relax into it. When Kim leans forward, Chay pulls him into his lap so that Kim is straddling him. The excess nerves seem to diminish at that point, or maybe they turn into excitement. Chay feels himself getting hard as Kim nips at his bottom lip and licks into his mouth. As soon as Chay redirects his kisses to Kim’s jaw and throat, he feels satisfaction and a slightly stronger sense of urgency when Kim lets out a sigh. It's enough for Chay to shift his hands beneath Kim’s ass and stand up with him in his hold. While Chay hasn't picked Kim up for a while, Kim doesn't jerk in his hold like he had the first time Chay had done it. All he does is keep his arms around Chay’s shoulders, pull him in for a kiss once more, and lets himself be carried to the bed until Chay places him down on his back. Kim pulls off Chay’s shirt, and then he lets Chay return the favor.
“We can still take it slow,” Chay tells him, situating himself over Kim, “Can I suck you off?”
Kim reaches up to touch Chay’s hair, then shrugs his shoulders, “Just don't do it for too long.”
Chay pouts at that, “But I want to make you feel good-”
“I’ll feel better if I come while you're inside me.”
Chay feels his eyes widen, “P’Kim!”
“What?”
Normally, Kim tends to blush or get flustered when something blunt comes out of either of their mouths. This time, there is an aura of challenge in Kim’s expression, as if he is ready to debate the pros about this decision with Chay should Chay feel differently. It's surprising, and it also shows how far he's come.
“Let me know if you feel like you're getting close and I’ll stop,” Chay says gently, “I want you to come while I'm inside you too. And then I am going to rim you until you get hard again. I don't care how long it takes. We talked about that, remember? It's happening.”
THAT gets Kim to blush. The tinge of his boyfriend's cheeks makes a smugness grow within Chay, but he holds his tongue. There are much better uses for his tongue.
“Can I take your pants and underwear off?” Chay asks.
Kim lets his fingers slide beneath the waistband of Chay’s shorts, “Yours need to come off too.”
“Yes, Phi,” Chay says, lifting his hips up just enough to slip his shorts off. As soon as he kicks them to the side and lets them land on the floor, he starts leaving a trail of kisses down Kim’s chest and only pauses when he reaches his navel. It's there that he pulls off the remainder of Kim’s clothing, letting Kim’s erection spring free. Chay has his mouth around it within seconds.
He starts out slow. It's probably best that he keeps this part slow, especially if Kim is really set on coming with Chay inside of him. Of course, even if Kim did come in Chay’s mouth, that could still happen. Kim is acting like he has never come twice in a row. Chay makes him do that on a semi-regular basis. It usually ends up exhausting Kim, but they both love it. However, Chay was serious about rimming him until Kim is ready for round two. Making Kim come now might make it so that part won't happen. Chay knows which potential outcome he wants more.
“I put the lube and condoms in the drawer next to you,” Chay says, briefly pulling off, “Can you grab them?”
While Kim does what he's told, Chay grabs one of the spare pillows to put underneath Kim's hips so Chay has better access. From there, Chay lifts Kim’s legs and puts his hands on the back of his thighs so Kim’s hole is more exposed. Chay blows against it, then mouths at Kim’s cheeks. As soon as his tongue circle’s Kim’s rim and his hands start to slip, Kim takes a hold of himself behind each knee to keep himself in place and more exposed.
The sight of it makes Chay get even harder. It makes him bury his face in between Kim’s cheeks. He licks into Kim’s hole and only becomes more insistent in the ministrations when he hears breathy moaning. As Kim rocks down onto his tongue, Chay keeps it going until Kim’s rim is more relaxed and softened. Now, Chay needs to make sure Kim’s channel is relaxed and prepped enough to take Chay.
He reaches for the lube and pours it on a couple of fingers, dipping the index finger in shallowly first before going in further and further with each thrust. He purposely keeps himself from massaging Kim’s prostate too much, only giving Kim the occasional satisfaction of it being briefly hit. Normally, Chay finds it quickly. He has done this to Kim enough times to know exactly which angle to go in. But he wants to primarily pleasure Kim once he's fully inside him. He wants to show him this was worth waiting for - and possibly show him that they could have been doing this for a while if it weren't for Kim’s conditions.
But mostly, he just wants this to be incredible for Kim. It's why he is so careful about prepping him now. While Chay has never bottomed himself, he knows not enough prep can hurt - and sometimes it still hurts at first with proper prep. He may have not loved any other partner he had before Kim, but he never wanted to hurt any of them while they were having sex. It was one of the few things Chay was careful about, and that feeling of caution is even more apparent with Kim. Chay reapplies the lube again as he adds a third finger, making sure his fingers can go in and out of Kim’s hole easily before slowly removing them.
“Do you still want to do this?” Chay asks, not even looking up. He may be slightly mesmerized by Kim’s wet, twitching hole to look anywhere else. But when Kim doesn't verbally answer, Chay lifts his head and sticks it in between Kim’s knees, only to see Kim’s eyes closed as he deeply breathes in and out.
“P’Kim?” Chay asks, feeling that smug feeling again when it takes Kim a few seconds to acknowledge him, “Should I put the condom on?”
Kim opens his eyes to meet Chay’s gaze, then nods his head. Chay kisses each of his thighs and reaches for the condom sitting on the bed. He opens the wrapper with his teeth, failing to hold back his grin when he sees that action does something to Kim.
“What?” Chay asks, “Do you think that's hot? Come on, you have to tell me. You let out a groan-”
“Just put it on,” Kim whines.
And while part of Chay wants to tease and pester Kim, a much bigger part wants to be inside him instead. So he slips on the condom, makes sure his length is lubed up as well, then travels back up Kim’s body to give him a soft kiss.
“Are you sure?” Chay asks again. Kim nods and meets him for another kiss before wrapping his legs around Chay’s waist. Chay presses his forehead against his, then reaches down to line himself up with Kim’s hole before slowly pushing in. Kim sharply inhales as soon as the head is halfway in, and Chay smooths his hair back.
“Breathe through it. It's the widest part,” Chay tells him, pausing briefly, “Or I can pull out-”
“No,” Kim says, then grips onto Chay’s shoulders, “Keep going.”
“...Okay,” Chay says, but waits for a moment, “Breathe in.”
As soon as Kim does, Chay pushes the head past the rim on the exhale, then brings Kim in for a kiss before gradually going deeper until he is at the hilt. It's then that Kim brings him in for a kiss, one that is needy and insistent that Chay fully returns as he pulls half-way out and thrusts back in. He feels perfect. Despite prepping him pretty thoroughly, he's still so tight. It drives Chay crazy, but it also makes him a little more careful, gently continuing with with his motions a few more times before changing the angle of his next thrust slightly. It results in Kim breaking off the kiss and letting out a gasp. Chay continues kissing Kim's cheek, jaw, and shoulder as he begins to thrust more earnestly. When he feels Kim’s arms wrap around him and fingernails digging into the skin of his back, it just adds to his own pleasure.
“You good?” Chay manages to ask, lifting his head just enough to see Kim's face. Kim looks debauched. His lips are slightly red and swollen and his eyes are a little glazed over, but those all must be good things since he meets Chay for the next thrust, then repeats the same motion a few more times before Chay takes a hint and increases the force and speed. Just a little at first, but Kim has a way of letting him know when he wants more. It's fascinating, just to watch for those clues. It's the only thing keeping Chay from completely losing himself in what he’s doing. But then, they hit a tempo with the perfect rhythm, force, and intensity. They are breathing into each other’s mouths and Chay barely knows what a thought is. If someone walked in right now, Chay doesn't think he could stop. Going by the way Kim is holding him, he doubts Kim possesses the capability to stop as well. What they are doing at this moment is more important than food, water, or oxygen , and Chay never wants it to end.
Of course, it will come to an end. He can feel Kim leaking between them and that sensation makes him wonder if he can not only make Kim come first, but come without Chay touching it. He wants to f*ck Kim’s org*sm out of him and he needs Kim to know as much.
“Try to come without touching yourself,” he manages to say as he puts both hands on Kim’s face, “I’m going to f*ck you a little harder. Tell me if it is too much. Are you okay with that?”
Kim lets out a whine, but shifts his legs upwards, making it so Chay can hit his prostate more easily. Without giving it much more thought, Chay lifts Kim’s legs and makes it so his calves are resting on his shoulders.
“Green?” Chay asks. Despite Kim almost being bent in half, he is still clearly in the green zone and stays that way as Chay truly pounds into him. The sounds coming out of Kim with each thrust is like music Chay can't get enough of, and the sight of pre-cum dripping onto Kim’s chest is one he wants permanently burned into his memories. Chay experiments with the angle slightly once more and the next thrust causes a spurt of cum to release from Kim’s dick, followed by another. Seeing Kim reach an org*sm makes Chay chase his own. He only increases his speed a little bit more before he buries himself into Kim as far as he can go. He lets out a groan as his hips stutter to a stop and he comes into the condom. He finds himself being pulled in for another kiss - one that he lazily returns before being led down onto Kim’s chest. They wrap their arms around each other and Chay wishes for once that physics weren't a thing and they could fuse together.
Staying inside Kim for the moment is enough, he supposes, although he should pull out. However, when he makes a move to do so, Kim grabs his ass to hold him inside.
Fine. He won't pull out, at least not yet. He won't even make Kim ask for him to stay nestled in his hole. Instead, he just gives him sweet kisses, stays right where he is, and revels in the silent afterglow before he feels himself naturally start softening.
“I need to pull out,” Chay says when Kim tries to hold him there, “You're greedy, P’Kim. It's making you not think straight. If I get any more soft, then I might slip out without the condom and we’ll have to dig it out of you.”
Kim wrinkles his nose at that, but lets him pull out without a word. Chay barely has time to tie off the condom before Kim is grabbing at him and turning him into his own personal body pillow. It's a role and fate Chay happily accepted a long time ago, so he just wraps his arms around him and lets Kim tuck himself into his side.
“So it was good?” Chay asks, waiting for confirmation. Kim only nods silently in return, but his eyes are closed so Chay clearly exhausted him.
He's pretty proud of himself.
But still…
“I wanted to rim you until we both got hard again so we could go for round two,” Chay says with a sigh, “But if you are too tired, it's fine. You can take a nap.”
It takes a moment, but Kim releases Chay and lies on his stomach, situating the pillow Chay had put beneath his hips to put himself on display. If Chay hadn't literally just come, he would get hard immediately. Although, he does feel arousal. It may not take that long on his end.
“You're sure?” Chay asks, getting up on his knees. Kim opens one eye and peers up at him.
“I’ll either get hard or fall asleep and have an intense sex dream.”
“If you fall asleep, I will stop.”
Kim shrugs at that, “You can keep going. You rimming me would be interesting to wake up to.”
Chay’s breath gets caught in his throat, “You…Alright, I’ll start rimming you then.”
Kim just nuzzles into his folded arms and closes his eyes. Chay doesn't think he's asleep. In fact, he knows he's not once gets going and Kim is whining and spreading his legs further so Chay can reach more of him.
It ends up being the longest he has ever rimmed Kim. It takes roughly thirty-five minutes before Kim becomes fully erect. Chay had hit that point almost ten minutes prior. The waiting and the insistent need to make Kim feel good during that time is possibly one of the hottest things he has ever experienced. That being said, he keeps going after Kim’s dick is up and ready. Even when Kim is grinding against the pillow, Chay keeps going.
He wants Kim to ask for it, maybe even beg for it. He needs him to. It takes several minutes for Kim to catch onto that. Although - maybe in Kim’s mind - Chay is the one who is slow when it comes to catching on.
“f*ck me,” Kim groans, shifting up to his knees as he keeps his head on the pillow. The blunt request takes Chay by surprise, but that's nothing compared to the way Kim reaches back to spread himself open. That has Chay’s draw dropping before he snaps out of it, scrambles for another condom, and quickly rips the package open so he can slip it on. When he guides himself into Kim once more, both of them let out sounds of what might be relief. Once they build up a rhythm again as they rock into each other, Chay grabs Kim's hips and moves him back as he thrusts forward. The sounds Kim makes get louder at that point, and quickly muffles the noise into his pillow. Chay wants to remind him they are not sharing a living space with Ma right now, that he can make as many sounds as he wants. They even got a place at the end of the pier that gives them more space from their temporary neighbors.
“I want to hear you,” Chay tells him as he bends over Kim’s back to kiss his shoulder, “Let me hear you.”
Kim lifts his head just enough to turn it to look at Chay. While he doesn't start expressing his pleasure, he does clearly want a kiss. Chay gives him one without another thought, only to realize he wants to keep kissing Kim. Making out during doggy style isn't exactly convenient, so he wraps his arms around Kim’s torso, pulls it against his own, and cups Kim’s cheek before resuming the kiss and tempo again. They continue with that position until Chay is snapping his hips against Kim’s ass and Kim’s head is rolling back onto Chay’s shoulder as he lets out a groan. Chay knows they are both close once again, so he reaches around to jerk Kim off, all while spilling into the second condom. Chay is still catching his breath when Kim starts shifting on his co*ck as he tries to lie back against Chay. Chay takes the hint, holds Kim tight, and leads them both down onto their sides. He pulls out once more, throws the second tied off condom in the trash with the first, and accepts his continuous fate of being his boyfriend's post-coital body pillow as they fall into a comfortable silence. But despite it being comfortable, Chay still wants to talk.
“So how was it?” Chay asks, lifting his head, “On a scale of 1-10, with one being the worst sex you've ever had in your life and ten being the best.”
Kim stills in his arms, then opens one eye, “9.5.”
Chay immediately pouts, even though a 9.5 is still good. He shouldn't complain about a 9.5.
But still, he needs to know.
“Who have you had that's better than me?” Chay asks. He's NOT going to get jealous. He's not. He’ll just have to up his game. He thought he had done that with all of the practice he has had, but if something isn’t working for Kim that had worked for him with someone else in the past-
“I just think adding the anal beads to the prep before the first round would have made it a ten,” Kim says, then lets out a sad sigh, “I miss them-”
“I will literally throw them away if you think a toy is better than me!” Chay says, then lets go of Kim to sit on his knees, “And need I remind you that I’M the one who f*cks you with that toy? So that's all me, P’Kim! I'm the one who…”
Chay trails off as Kim starts to giggle, almost sounding drunk. When Kim grabs his hand to try to pull him back down, Chay resists.
“I was kidding,” Kim tells him, “I promise. It was a ten. It was the best I ever felt.”
…That's a little better.
“You promise?” Chay asks. Kim nods and tries to pull him down again. This time, Chay obliges and becomes a pillow once more.
“You're the best I have ever had too,” Chay says gently. Kim rolls his eyes at that as if it isn't true, which is incredibly rude.
“I mean it,” Chay says, pulling him closer, “Nothing I have ever done with anyone else compares to anything we have done, but it especially doesn't compare to what just happened now. I can't get enough of you.”
I love you.
He wants to say it so bad.
Maybe soon. He wants to hold out a little longer. Maybe Kim will say it first, and actually be sober when he says it. Then, Chay can say it back freely without any fear.
But for now, Kim’s vocabulary is limited. He doesn't verbally return the sentiment Chay had given him out loud, but he does pull Chay in for a kiss, one that is so sweet, tender, and languid that it feels an awful lot like love. And going by how long it lasts, maybe - just maybe - Kim can't get enough of him either.
“It's late,” Kim says, his eyes half closed, “We should go to sleep.”
Chay turns his head to glance at the clock, “It's 8:15-”
“I'm tired,” Kim whines, then tucks his face into Chay’s neck. Chay lets out a snort and runs his fingers through Kim’s hair.
“Let’s rest, then,” Chay says, “We’re not on a schedule. We can do whatever we want. If we wake up at 1 am, we can just take a late night swim in the pool.”
Kim glances up at him, nods, and presses one more kiss against Chay’s lips. Chay returns it, then reaches over to turn off the light on the end table before holding Kim against him once more.
